The Father Difference

Guiding Your Kids to God's Plan

• Ed Tandy McGlasson

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Parents have profound influence in helping children connect to God's plan through modeling authentic faith and empowering kids to develop their own relationship with their Creator. Your life paints the canvas on which your child's story begins—a responsibility that extends far beyond church attendance or Bible knowledge.

• Be a model of life lived in Christ—children watch what you do more than what you say
• Spend time with God to tune your ears to His voice, just as Jesus rose early to pray
• Celebrate when your children begin hearing from God themselves
• Remember Jesus' words that "the Father himself loves you"—teach kids this direct access
• Discipline with gentleness to avoid exasperating your children
• Ask more questions than you give answers to empower critical thinking
• Guide children through decisions rather than making all choices for them
• Bless your children with affirming words and demonstrate love consistently
• Understand that daughters especially need to hear they are beautiful and worthy of love
• Remember that God delights over you and dances over you with joy—model this for your children

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Speaker 1:

Hey, welcome. I'm your host, ed Tanney-McGlasson, and looking forward to spending the next 20 minutes or so with you really talking about helping your kids really connect to God's plan for them. How many want that? Raise your hand If you're signing on. Just kind of let me know where you're signing on from. I'm really glad to be here today. How was your Memorial Day weekend? Was it good? There's a lot of things going on in the world right now, but remembering our soldiers is such an amazing thing, amazing time for me.

Speaker 1:

I just thought I'd just start out just a little bit of an honor of my father and my stepdad. My birth father's name is Ed Tandy. My stepfather was Dan McGlashan, hence my name, ed Tandy McGlashan. And on May, the 29th, 28th 1956, my dad, just before I was born I was about a month from being born was testing his Fury 3 jet and his last words on earth before his plane crashed, because he had a catastrophic failure in his plane. He said this is November, papa 88, taking it in. And so my father turned the plane towards the sea, away from the beaches in Santa Cruz. And that was many, many moons ago, 68 years ago. And so I just the life that I have and the life that your children have. They start out on the canvas that you paint with your life. On the canvas that you paint with your life, the stories, the person you are, the person that nobody sees, the person that's at home and the way you live your life. You have an incredible influence, mom or dad, and most parents don't understand. I think the culture is bigger than them. It's not Matter of fact. The most profound institution of God, putting together this thing called marriage and family, is that parents, fathers and mothers are the most powerful people in the land, according to God. So we're going to talk a little bit about that next week.

Speaker 1:

But so I lost my dad on that day and my mother came home and was, you know, heard from the admiral that my dad had been lost at sea and ran back to his Bible and realized that he had circled something in his Bible and it was the story of Jesus walking on the water towards the disciples on the boat and Peter, looking through the waves rolling past him, sees what he thinks is a ghost and Jesus says don't be afraid. And my dad, you know, was reading this. He took his pen and circled a word in the story, the word come, which is what Jesus said, and Peter jumped out of the boat he's the only disciple who did and started walking on the water. Not sure how many steps he got, but eventually started sinking, started realizing I'm walking on water. Jesus lifted him up and put him back in the boat. That was the last thing that my father read, circled in his Bible, and then took off these dog tags here that I wear around my neck and put them on the bedside table just before he went out that day to fly. And put him on the bedside table just before he went out that day to fly.

Speaker 1:

And I remember thinking on Memorial Day, as I kind of lead into what I'm going to talk to you about tonight, is my dad's death, although tragic, and I lost him, set me up, his son for the ministry I get to do today, because one of the most powerful things for you and me is that, even if your dad was a broken dad, losing my father, god, that heart in me of wanting to be fathered and then having a stepfather who stepped in to did the best he could you know another navy guy in my life, um, and I'm so grateful that he decided to, you know, say yes as a it's a midshipman to naval academy when he met my mom after she had lost her fly a flyer boy, and what a powerful thing that was that he did. And so I'm really grateful to those two men and I'm also grateful to my grandfather who he was a three-star admiral in the Navy, walter C Ford Very amazing man leader. Won't go into all that. All that I'm saying is this and we'll see this later in what I'm talking about tonight the way you live your life, the way you begin to believe that you can make a difference with your children, you'll see that happen in their life and it will go way beyond you. And one day you'll arrive in heaven and you'll be waiting for your kids and when they arrive you're going to hear about all the things they did in their story and all the differences that you make. Imagine for a moment that all of your parenting gets paid forward. All of it, and even your bad parenting. God can turn it and use it. Me losing my dad in my own story set me up to connecting with him, and what a powerful thing. Set me up to connecting with him, and what a powerful thing. So if you're a veteran or you're celebrating somebody that was lost in your family. God bless you.

Speaker 1:

I want to honor those men and those heroes. I thought a really strange thing in my neighborhood is that I was the only one who flew the flag on my street. People just don't get it, do they? So anyway, I want to honor the commitment of those who have gone before us. So how do you really help your children connect to God's plan? That's what we're going to talk about now. I love any comments that you might have in the chat. I just would love to see those and just you connecting in here. You know, when you do these live shows, you get all kinds of different directions and things coming at you.

Speaker 1:

But the first thing I want to share with you here's a picture of one of my sons in love with his three little ones. They're out on a farm on their family vacation, and is there anything more powerful than a dad who's loving his kids and I love Greg so much, and those are my. Those four are my grannies. I actually just found out we have number 14 on the way. It's awesome. Children are such a blessing from the Lord. I'm just so grateful that God has done what he's done in my life to do that. It's awesome. Children are such a blessing from the Lord. I'm just so grateful that God has done what he's done in my life to do that. So here's number one how do you help your kids connect to God Kind of what God wants for them? You've got to be a model of the life lived in Christ. It's not enough to tell them that you need to go to church. You need to be that model. Well, you're saying, well, I haven't been a very good dad. Well, I've watched. I can't tell you how many tens of thousands of men and fathers turn their whole family around in our conferences and events. It's just amazing Through reading the book the Difference a Father Makes.

Speaker 1:

We now have that book In 124 countries. I'm so grateful we're giving it away For free. And just Because I remember when I wrote the book the Difference a Father Makes One of my prayer times, the Lord—because I was feeling a little bit self-conscious about, you know, writing my first book, and the Lord reminded me says when men read this book, or even women, moms, when they read this book, they're going to realize they can do it too After they see the kind of craziness that you lived in your life. Oh, that's so true. Is there anything in our life that's worth anything, that we don't receive Anything at all? Because when we receive it from God, it's powerful. When we receive blessing from our dads that's impacting in our life, when we receive blessing from our mothers, that helps shape us more than you know. So we've got to be the model.

Speaker 1:

And here was Jesus' secret In rising up early in the morning. You know he rises up early in the morning. What does he do? You know he arrives up early in the morning. What does he do? While it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place and there he prayed.

Speaker 1:

Jesus was always kind of separating away from his disciples, and it's because he didn't—when he was born he didn't grab onto all of his godlike power. He lived the same kind of life you and me would have to live as a human being, and he had to connect to the Holy Spirit and God's power. He had to obey the Word of God in his life and he learned how to follow the Father. And so when you spend time with God, it begins to tune your ears in to hear Him for yourself, because there's nothing more powerful than a father who's believing that he's hearing from the Lord for his own life and for his family. It's a powerful thing indeed and you can develop that and my time with the Father that's what I call it my time with my Father, my ultimate Father, god. The Father has done more to shape me as a man and as a husband, a father, now grandfather in ministry, and all the roles I have more than anything else, because when you check in with God, he checks in with you and you sort of like. It's like tuning your antenna to the right station so important. I want to encourage you keep doing it.

Speaker 1:

Next slide here's a really important thing that I learned. You know, when I started, you know, being a dad, I thought that my only role, my main role, was to teach my kids the Bible, which is powerful, and to teach them how to do life right. But I didn't understand that my biggest part of my role is not only to model how to hear from God for them, but to celebrate them when they're hearing God for themselves, god for them, but to celebrate them when they're hearing God for themselves. And when you're connecting to—you're helping your kids connect and hear from God themselves. It's incredibly powerful, because when they do, they're going to discover, like you did, how amazing God is.

Speaker 1:

Because you don't want your kids beloved living off of just the sermons of your preacher in church or your little sermonettes or your walk with God, you want them to have their own, and the quicker you do that, the more powerful your kids will be in the midst of this culture. They'll become the ones that are scary, not the ones that are far out, and so you've got to teach them and hear God, and one of the verses that I love sharing with my kids is one of those that just blew my mind. I'll read it with you. In that day, this is Jesus talking about us connecting with God, the Father, in prayer, and how the Father loves answering our prayers. And that day you will ask in my name, and I do not say to you that I will ask the Father on your behalf. In other words, I'm not going to be the one who's going to grab your prayer and go run it to the Father.

Speaker 1:

Look what he says here, for the Father himself loves you, boy. You teach that to your children, that the Father loves you, and because they get a lot of programs at churches. They get a lot of things, some great and some not so great but where they celebrate is because they're hearing from a good, good Father in heaven that loves them, and that's why the way you parent them is so powerful, and we'll talk about that in just a moment. But look what it says here. He says, for the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that came from God. We love Jesus. It gives us an incredible access to the Father because he loves us. But we begin to experience His love, and when you experience the love of the Father—that's the Father difference that our ministry is about—then that same love will teach you how to connect to your children.

Speaker 1:

I came from the Father and I've come into the world, and now I'm leaving the world and I'm going back to the Father. Well, jesus' plan was to reveal who the Father was to us, and so we get all three God, the Father who loves us, the Son who died for us, and the Holy Spirit wants to empower you in all the things he's called you to. And so what's the next step? How do you do that? Well, you've got to set them up for success in the way you discipline them. I touched on this a little bit last week, and that's why the Bible is just really clear Fathers, do not exasperate your children.

Speaker 1:

Instead, bring them up in the training instruction of the Lord. And you can do that as a mom, you can do that as a dad. And the next thing you know, you find your kids are more scared of you than anything else. They hide things from you. And you know, when I see that my children are struggling that way, what I do is I sort of hear the 007 song and I just go after them until they begin to let me know what's going on, because most of the time children think you're too busy to be with them. And when you are intentionally wanting to spend time with them, what a powerful thing that is. And when they know it that they can get your ear. And so it says here don't exasperate your children. Don't exasperate your children.

Speaker 1:

And the way you do it is that you correct his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth. Gentleness is one of those incredible qualities of somebody who is grateful for all that God has done, of somebody who is grateful for all that God has done. You know, I've met people that call themselves Christians and they've got a list of all the bad things they're not doing and I can't believe how evil the world is now. Evil people do things but we forget that we used to be that evil person before Christ. Nobody got into heaven because we're good, and so when gentleness grabs your heart, beloved, something profound happens. Because you're so grateful that— why would you want to treat somebody roughly? Because they're broken? Because you realize how much God has forgiven you. Don't ever forget that. That's just a powerful truth that God has given us and he wants to do the same for you. Let's go on.

Speaker 1:

Here's the next one that is just really important. Is you want to ask your kids more questions than you give answers? How many of you are really good at giving answers instead of asking them questions? I'll give you a little story. A number of years ago, my son was at school and one of the deals we made was that he was on the golf team and during the time that, david Duvall was a big skier and he hurt his shoulder and there was other things that happened, and one of the things that you know kind of a deal we made was that you wouldn't go snowboarding. You wouldn't go snowboarding.

Speaker 1:

And you know he calls me and says hey Dad, I know you'll probably say no, but I got free snowboard, free lift tickets. I'm going up with my friends. I just wanted to call and let you know. And I said okay, son, can I ask you a couple of questions? He goes okay, have you prayed about it? Well, yeah, okay, awesome, did you and God kind of popped this in my brain did you check out your scholarship to make sure that you're not going to get in trouble if you somehow got hurt on the ski slopes? You think I should. I said oh, son, you're a man yourself, so you get to make that decision. And then I said and if you ask your coach, you think I should. Well, you know, he's in charge of you, you're a freshman and you've made the travel squad. So I just checked with Coach Mark. He's an awesome man. Okay, dad, anyway, thanks for your advice. And click, he hangs up.

Speaker 1:

And about 15 minutes later I get a call back. Hey Dad, the tone has totally changed. What's the matter, son? Well, I read my school contract and if I get hurt in intramural sport I can lose my scholarship. I go oh man, you got a man-sized choice to do. See what I'm doing there is I'm empowering him to listen and I'm being really gentle in the way I'm trying to hear him and get him to reason about making a good choice. And then he goes and I called Coach Simpson and he said he would prefer that I wouldn't because if I get hurt I'm off to travel squad. You got a big decision to make and then I heard it happen. You know that moment when your kids hear the Lord and he goes. And now that I think about it, dad tone totally changed. He said you know, it would be totally foolish of me to risk a PGA Tour experience in the future for one weekend of snowboarding. I'm not sure why I even called you. Thanks, dad, god bless you. And he hangs up. Man, I just started dancing around like Kermit the Frog. Man, I just started dancing around like Kermit the Frog. Just so grateful.

Speaker 1:

Just how God can use you if you learn to ask questions more questions than give answers, because when you're giving them the answer to the question before you ask it, are they now feeling like they're a student or a pupil, or your son or your daughter? They're pretty smart, they're pretty amazing. And point number five well, this is a given. But bless them with your words and your love. I mean bless them, spend time with them, play with them and tell them that you love them. Write it in a note, send it in an email. You know, we've talked about how to heal bitterness two shows ago. Two weeks ago, we talked about how to heal bitterness two shows ago. Two weeks ago, we talked about how to heal the root of bitterness. You should go back to Facebook, youtube, instagram and watch that. There's a lot of great things, but the truth of the matter is that God has given you all the tools you need to make an incredible difference with your children. All you got to do is do that, and you know one of the, you know one of the applications of what you know. Bless them with your words and love is just an incredible little story with my daughters and I and it's from Zephaniah, and they were.

Speaker 1:

They're in the atrium here at this desk, and they were out dancing on a rock trying to get my attention, trying to. You know, get you know, get my attention. And I'm in here, you know, sitting at the mountain of God yeah, that's a painting that I painted, trying to hear from the Lord and write a sermon. And my daughters were trying to get my attention Literally, I know that the sermon was going to be what was going to happen between me and my daughters, and so I was watching them and they came out in their little fairy costumes and they started singing and dancing. And I just looked at them and clapped and yay started celebrating them and they went crazy. Yay, he started celebrating them and they went crazy. They ran back into the room and changed into another princess outfit and came out and did it again and again, and again.

Speaker 1:

And I remember sitting there in the midst of this and asking a question and the question was God, what do women want? Any other guy try to ask that question. And hey, justin, welcome from the road. Anybody ever. What do women want? And I even watched that movie from Mel Gibson what Women Want? You know, thinking maybe there's a key. Well, he electrocuted himself in the movie and he began to. You know, thinking maybe there's a key. Well, he electrocuted himself in the movie and he began to, you know, began to hear the thoughts of women.

Speaker 1:

But right in the midst of this moment, I'm asking God a question because my struggle with my daughters was really huge because I didn't have much of a model in raising, seeing how a father raises daughters, and I didn't have my dad there and my stepfather I mean, he was just, he was awesome with the sports, with the boys and stuff, but you know, his daughters, you know, were challenged, and because I don't know how much his dad taught him about loving girls himself, how you love your daughters, and so I'm just like God, what do they want? And he shared with me something that changed my life for me, me and my marriage, and then me with my daughters. And here it is for you. It's the last thing I was going to share with you tonight. He said, inside of a little girl's heart, when she's born, she's born with a question Daddy, am I beautiful, am I someone to be loved? And if you'll answer that question, ed, your daughters won't give away their gifts to a pretender. Gosh, that was such wisdom from heaven for me, gosh, that was such wisdom from heaven for me. And I remember, just you know, practicing that out, you know, and celebrating my daughters and delighting in them. And it's like here's this picture in Zephaniah of God's, the Father's heart, towards you and me when he says God's going to delight over you with a gladness with his love. Right, he'll calm your fear and he will rejoice over you with joyful songs, and in the ESV it says that he will dance over you with joy. God's love gets so intense for you, beloved one. There are times when he dances over you, and he wants you to not only experience that for yourself. He wants you to connect to your children and be able to give them the same thing, to where God will begin to turn your heart as a father or as a mother, so much so that you begin to love them in a way that maybe you never got to receive love yourself. And what a powerful, powerful thing that is for anyone. And so when you invest your time in them and love them and be in their life, it will change everything in their stories. Thanks for being with me.

Speaker 1:

A couple of little announcements, and I'm going to pray with you. You want to throw that in the chat tonight? I have an event coming up this next weekend here. Actually, there's two events I have here and the one that's coming up, the Superpower of Dads, of Dads, and this is going to be on Father's Day weekend, saturday on the 15th, from 8 am to 12 pm. You can go to my website at thefatherdifferencecom and register or send me an email. You want a table? Be there, it's free. We have different sponsors that are helping out here. We're going to have a great breakfast and then we're going to talk about the superpower you have as a dad. Imagine being able to really capture the heart of your children in a powerful way. And you might say, well, I'm not in Southern California. Well, we'll have it online for you as well. We'll let you know. We'll have a live event that day for you called the Superpower of Dads. That'd be a blessing.

Speaker 1:

Also, if you want to really grow as a husband or father or you're a gal, my latest book, how to Become the Husband or Father, your Family Ne. It's just as askable for a woman. I wrote it to guys because girls will buy almost anything, especially for their husbands. But you know, if you want this, it comes along with a free access to our online father difference men's training time that we have on tuesday nights and in different parts of the country, and I would love for you to do that. You can scan this with your phone or go to my website at the father differencecom and the last but not least, part two of this that we started last week A Mother's Guide to Earning and Restoring Trust with their Children. I have a lot of gals get a hold of us in our coaching that they're struggling with their kids and they're all in as moms and they're trying to protect them from the craziness of the world. Well, that's part two, going to be on Thursday at 12 noon.

Speaker 1:

All that to say, let's pray. How many of you got kids you need to reconnect with? If you got your chat or comment posted, I'd love to see it. I have the Instagram feed here and YouTube Just kind of put out those prayer requests. I'd love to connect with you, pray with you and Father, I pray for these needs that are coming in Right now. I pray for these families that have been blown apart and I pray that you would heal their families. More than anything, lord, I pray that, as a father and mother, that they would learn to connect with you in a profound way. They learn to hear your voice. They learn to teach their kids how to hear from God. They would learn how to discipline with gentleness it's firm, but it's gentle and, lord, they would be able to connect with kids they've lost, that are going through a crazy time in the world, and, father, I pray for every one of them. Just throw their name out there out loud. If one of your kids is struggling, father, I pray for every one of them. Just throw their name out there out loud. If one of your kids is struggling, father, I pray you would touch every one of these that have just said that in Jesus' name. Father, you're a good, good Father. You love answering our prayers because you, the Father himself, loves us, and I pray you would bless my friends tonight and heal their families. Lord, in the name of Jesus, god bless you. So grateful to be with you tonight.

Speaker 1:

You can keep watching this. Share it with a friend Also. If you are interested, let me see if I can get my mouse to actually come back live. Of course, it might be on the fritz here. Where did it go? If you go to thefatherdifferencecom, I have a gift for you and would love to give you a book, and all you got to do is go to my website at the father differencecom and you'll see the link though for a free book, and right now it's in 124 countries. I'm so grateful and they're getting a free download. If you want one or you want to begin sewing that into the men in your story, it'd be awesome Because once they get that book, they'll also get an invitation for a free 15-minute coaching session with me and I just love doing those connecting with guys who don't like going to therapy, but they'll meet with a life coach. So, anyway, the Lord bless you and I just I'm so grateful that you joined me here again on Facebook, instagram, on this live on the Father Difference Live broadcast. God bless you. No-transcript.

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Ed Tandy McGlasson

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