Finding Peace: Building a Happy Home in Fearful Times

Discovering a path to family happiness during fearful times starts with a deep personal connection to God as Father that transforms your entire household and establishes security for your children.

• Modeling authentic relationship with God provides children a roadmap for navigating their own fears
• Children learn faith not through perfect parenting but by watching parents authentically connect with God
• Your personal "secret history" with God becomes the foundation for your family's security
• Jesus demonstrated the pattern: doing only what He saw the Father doing
• God steps in to father us in ways our earthly fathers couldn't
• Being chosen by God "before the foundation of the world" establishes our true identity
• Sharing your spiritual journey with your children creates powerful teaching moments
• Simple practices like letting children observe your Bible reading create lasting impressions
• The "superpower" of parenthood is connecting to God's voice and following His lead

Visit www.thefatherdifference.com/links for a free book download and information about personal coaching.

Chapters

• 0:25 Welcome and Introduction
• 2:40 Building a Happy Home in Fearful Times
• 10:30 Connecting with God Like Jesus Did
• 19:00 When God Backs Up What Dads Can't
• 26:45 Chosen Before Creation
• 31:45 Closing Thoughts and Resources

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:25

Well, welcome If you are new to our channel. I'm Ed Tenney-McGlason, your host, and today we're going to talk about just the incredible privilege we have when we connect to God in such a way that it changes our entire home and kind of what we do. I'm kind of getting the studio back in gear here and been traveling quite a bit, been doing ministry and really excited to be with you tonight on the Father Difference live broadcast and so, anyway, we are I am trying to get through all of the technology things here after traveling for a couple of weeks, so bear with me and excited about being with you and sharing a little bit about how to have a happy home in a time of fear, and so that's kind of what we're going to talk about tonight. And welcome, if you're great to see you logging on here and we are going to trying to connect here to Okay, let's remove this and connect here to what we're doing. Let's remove this and connect here to what we're doing on all of these things that we need to deal with and to be your host today and to help you talk through this whole issue of how to have a happy home in a time of fear, how many of you have noticed just the temperature kind of increase around your family and everything that you're dealing with. I mean this is kind of an unprecedented time in our history of our country the craziness of the election, the attempted assassination of the president, the economy, and so many of you have been writing in about how to deal with all those kind of things yourself, with your family, and you know it puts a lot of stress on you and puts a lot of stress on your kids when they're not really sure about you know all of the ins and outs of what's happening and the truth of the matter is, at the end of the day, your children are watching you and they're wondering. You know what's going on, what's going on with dad, what's going on with mom, and you know, am I going to make it? Are things going to be okay? And you know they're not connected in with all the all the news as much Some of them are if they're not connected in with all the all the news as much some of them are if they're teenagers. And that's why it's so powerful for you to be centered as a man or as a mom, a father, as a mom, and that's a powerful thing and and so how do you kind of yourself? Last week we talked a little bit about you learning this one key thing, and that is really learning how to connect to you, know God, the Father, like a son or a daughter in this time of fear, so that your kids get a roadmap of what it's like to they see it in you first.

Speaker 1: 4:29

I remember when I was a younger dad a much younger dad Now I'm a grandpa, you can tell by my mustache and I know I didn't die on purpose a little cool and look old. And so I remember a moment with my son Edward. He was just a little guy and he was knocking on my door and he comes in and I said what's up, buddy? And he said what are you doing, dad? And I remember I was reading my Bible and I said, well, I'm reading my Bible and spending time with God. He goes well, can I do that with you too? And I said sure.

Speaker 1: 5:17

And he comes into my office here and sits across from my desk and I hand him a Bible.

Speaker 1: 5:28

But it's kind of upside down. I didn't turn it around, didn't think about the time and realized that he wasn't reading yet. So he grabbed it and he'd opened it and it was upside down and he was looking up at me as I'm reading my Bible and I had my finger and I was going like this across the page and I happened to glance over and he was doing the same thing and I was sort of mouthing the words and he was doing the same thing and he was doing the same thing and I realized in that moment I was teaching him more about, you know, handling my life, the pressure and the things that I was dealing with, more than you know all of the other things that I was doing, because I was modeling a way to connect to God. And so the first thing I just want to remind you of you probably already do this but to spend time with God every single day, reading his word and in your prayer time, whatever that rhythm is for you, early or late and draw your kids into that, because where are they going to learn to hear from God?

Speaker 1: 7:00

Sunday schools are great. Churches are great. Vbs programs are great. All of those things are great. Churches are great. Vbs programs are great. All of those things are great preparation. But ultimately they're watching you, dad and Mom if you're a mom, watching to see how you're building your private life, how you're building your heart, private life, how you're building your heart, and when they see that you turn to God's Word when you're stressed, when you're pushed to the edge, it's one of the most powerful things you can do, because you're not preaching at them, you're not saying you've got to read your Bible, because our children are going to learn to do the things that we do and the way we do those things, and so building this secret history with God that you share with your kids is a powerful way for them to get a handle.

Speaker 1: 8:06

Matter of fact, it's really one of the major things about really the secret of you know, having a happy home in a time of fear, because, no matter what's going on, because we all go through stuff, we all go through battles, we all go through storms going on because we all go through stuff, we all go through battles, we all go through storms. It's all a power of death, but the constant for you and I not this it's going to get better one day. Well, we're positive. The real constant that matters is that God's got our back and he sees what's going on and he loves us. And when we're in that place where we're, you know, pushed to the edges of our life and we're low on resources and the first place we turn is to the Lord. That's a powerful thing for your kids and your family, to your wife if you're married, and yet it's one of those things that we neglect because we don't think we have much impact in there.

Speaker 1: 9:17

But it's the secret of really being able to make impact in your life is that, at the core of who you are, you've made this decision and really believe, at that place where you live, that you can't do this by yourself. Think about that. I mean, we live in a world that you know, all day long on social media is celebrating the individual and his personal power or things, and then every once in a while, you meet somebody who says I'm not able to do this without my Lord and Savior, jesus Christ. Some in the world go, you know, kind of push that person to the side, but because, ultimately, we want to. You know people want to take credit for their breakthroughs. Well, if you want a real breakthrough, there's only one that can really do that. So let's talk a little bit about some ways that you can connect.

Speaker 1: 10:31

Here's a question that's kind of an imagined statement. Imagine being able to see all day long, just the way Jesus did, being able to see what the Father is doing all around you, every day, with your kids, with your family, with your wife, your spouse, your single, with your girlfriend, your boyfriend. What would it be like if you were able to tune in to really understanding what God, the Father, through His Son Jesus, wants to do in your life, or in people you meet, or in people that are different than you. Imagine the impact that would be if you were able to do that, because that's really God's goal for you and me is to connect us to Him, and the truth of the matter is that we will never be more secure in this life until we really bury ourselves in the warm embrace of the loving arms and discover who he has called us to be as men and women. I mean, that's a powerful truth. It's a powerful statement. You can make all the money in the world, you can have the greatest job. I used to be able to wear this jersey and play in the NFL. Those are all great moments, but the greatest moment is when you're secure in who God has called you to be and you're so secure that it affects people around you.

Speaker 1: 12:21

Because, if you think, my wife and I spent three weeks up north at a place called in Lake Crowley a church on a mountain in Mammoth Lakes area and incredible friends that we had there and you know preaching on the weekends, and two churches, two church sites and went in Bishop just filled with just incredible people. They're solid-earth people, they're my peeps. I loved being around them and they're just real people that want to have great families and they love the mountains, they love the outdoors, they survive the winters. They're much like the pioneers across the plains because they got real snow and real stuff to deal with and crazy weather. And yet they're amazing people and they sustain themselves. They don't have a lot of the technology limitations or maybe technology overload that we have here in the bigger cities. They're outside, they're looking at mountains, they're hunting, fishing, they're playing, their kids fill the parks. They even have a hike. They have a hike here that I didn't get to go on because of carnivore called the Pie Hike, and you can take your family and go up Rock Creek here near Mammoth Lakes and to a place where they have fresh pies every day. Imagine hiking for an hour and going up and eating a gigantic piece of pie and I hear the pies are amazing, so they're amazing people, and yet they have the same challenges that we have. You know, challenges that we have.

Speaker 1: 14:38

And one of the ways that we connect to this whole concept of building a family where our children are really secure is not what you want, don't you want to be really secure, really knowing who God's called you to be and what God's called you to do? I know that I do, and this next verse just really exemplifies God's commitment to how he's going to do that in our life. And the Scripture says in talking about Jesus, the Scripture before this, says that the Son of man can do nothing on His own, but only what he sees His Father doing. The Son does likewise. And then it says For the Father loves the Son and shows Him all the things that he Himself is doing, and greater works than these. He will show him that you may marvel.

Speaker 1: 15:29

And what's profound about that is that Jesus came to connect us to His Father in such a way that our identity gets secure, the mission of our life gets secure every day, because we're following and learning to do what he's called us to do, which protects us from being religious, which really keeps us in that place of loving people for their sake and not our sake, which is such a powerful thing in a day when so much of the branding and social media is all about you and what you're doing. Imagine not being religious but being able to reach people, no matter where they come from, and that's such a powerful thing. I think that's what everybody really wants in their story, because not every one of us comes from a relationship where we had a dad who was a good father to us, where we had a dad who was a good father to us. And so for many, I meet young men and women all the time who you know they're still wondering why their dad didn't have it together, that didn't model this for them. Well, here's the good news God, the Father, wants to model this to you and be a father to you in such a way that it begins to heal the deepest part of your life as a man. And the more you learn to receive that from yourself, the more you learn to follow what he's doing, the less effort it takes, because you don't have to produce it, you don't got to fast it in, you don't got to in a real way. Try to pray it in that you can position yourself so God will bless you. The primary thing that God's called you and I to do to have a happy family is to model to our children and to our spouses, our wife or our husband, what it looks like. When you learn how to receive from him, you learn how to receive the love you need, the grace you need, the direction you need, because many times we're in these things that are impossible, in these things that are impossible when loved ones die, when our friends lose somebody in their life and they have a tragedy, and when they go through hard things. And yet where's God in the midst of all those kind of things? And the truth of the matter is that he's there in a way to finish something that our dads began. See God, the Father sent his son to finish what our fathers can't do. He'd have the best dad in the world, but if he doesn't, there's no way that your natural biological father can replace who God is in your life.

Speaker 1: 18:53

I meet people all the time that build their whole life on a single good moment with their dad, even though they had many bad ones, because, as fathers, there's good parts of me and parts that I really hurt my children with and parts that I really hurt my children with. And if I have to be perfect for my kids to have an incredible, happy life, then they're going to be waiting for a long time and part of the. You know, when I began to understand that in my own life, I realized that my job isn't to be perfect or the best dad in the world. My job was to get into a place where God was fathering me in a way that was transforming my life right in front of my children. There's nothing like that for our kids. There's nothing like that for our kids when they see you change and grow right in front of them, when you learn, when you ask for forgiveness when you hurt, hurt them, when you begin to build that culture of forgiveness in your family that we've talked about many times, and because God, you know God's put you in this place, dad, to not just to be the perfect dad, but to model to your children a way they can learn to connect to God themselves when they're not perfect. And that's one of the most extraordinary things about being a father.

Speaker 1: 20:33

God came in to back up what our dads couldn't do. As a matter of fact, he says in 2 Corinthians 6.18, I'll be a father to you and you shall be my sons and daughters To me, says the Lord. God Almighty, what a promise. I remember reading this and being a pretty broken dad and just seeing that his whole plan was to come in and father me. In a way, my dad couldn't. My birth dad was killed in action. My stepfather did the best job he could do, but even on his best day he was flawed, and so we can either push and you know, kind of push through those times which can be helpful.

Speaker 1: 21:36

The problem is, I get really grumpy when I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job, but when I bring that not very good job to the Lord and say, god, I don't know how to be the father my children need me to be right now. Now that is a question he loves to answer is when you bring yourself to a place where you honestly admit what he already knows, that you're over your head, that you're over your head and even communicating that to your children, to where it's like you know your family's going through something and you can honestly say you know what I know, that God loves us and your dad's going to go spend some time with him to find out what we need to do about this Gosh that's so powerful, and then come back and give whatever he's sharing with you about being a father, which is a powerful, powerful thing. And so you know, that's kind of the way God, you know, changes us. He fathers those things in us that our dad didn't get a chance to do, maybe because they never were fathered themselves. So I don't know about you, but that helped me understand that my dad didn't have certain things.

Speaker 1: 23:12

Like you know, one of the things that God wants to do. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord, jesus Christ. Look at this who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places? Spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, see, god's resource, as your Father, is that he has all of heaven. With every spiritual blessing that he has to bless your life, and the secret to this is that you don't try to earn it. He wants to give it to you. He wants to bless you with it, because if you're in Christ, he has already blessed us, and so the only issue is with you and me is are we willing to receive it, and you know, I know that that's His plan for you.

Speaker 1: 24:12

I know that for me, when I began to truly understand that not only does he want to be a Father to us and not only does he want to bless us with every spiritual blessing, but a really subtle, powerful peace, which is in the next verse there in the book of Ephesians, that really slayed me. When I connected with this, I was 40 years old and it says this even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world. Now, if you've been around me for any length of time, you've probably heard this in different ways, but it still affects me today. It's one thing for a dad to you know, be with the mom and they produce a child, you, and when you're born, they get what they get. But it's another thing, altogether different, when the God who created the universe, when Jesus, said, let there be light and there was light when they chose you before they made the earth that we would be holy and blameless in them, that word there is.

Speaker 1: 25:47

It's a powerful word. It means a couple things. One, it means that you're going to be completely whole as a person, through and through. You're going to be clear who you are, you're going to be—sin is not going to rule over you. It also has this connotation that it really means that when God calls you holy and blameless before Him, he's basically saying you're mine and I'm going to back you up. You're mine.

Speaker 1: 26:27

It's like that moment when you realize, as a new father, you're holding that newborn in delivery room, or the first time you look in their eyes and you realize this is my son, this is my daughter. And God, the Father, feels that same way about you and me, that you're His. But he chose you fully, knowing all of the ins and outs, the strengths, the weaknesses, the mistakes, everything you would. He chose you even when you are a spiritual wreck. He chose you to be his son, to be his daughter, so that he could make you holy and blameless before him. That's his commitment. And knowing that is foundational to you as a man or a woman, of connecting to your true identity as a son or a daughter to a father who chose you before. He said let there be light. And that's one of those pieces of having a happy home in a time of fear, when you're clear about who you are and you live out of that identity in front of your children. It really builds trust in them that, no matter what's going on, we're going to be okay. We're going to be okay, we're going to be okay. And for children, right now, the most important thing they see from you is you're really clear about who God's called you to be and you live in that, you nurture, that, you spend time. You know there's a lot of you probably won't go to a church somewhere and someone doesn't teach you about opening your Bible and spending time with God, and that's a powerful thing. But when you do it and your children see it and then you share from the overflow about what God is saying to you, it's powerful.

Speaker 1: 28:56

Now let me give you a little caveat here. It's not that you read the Bible. You know I meet people all the time and I did this for years. I read the Bible for other people. How many of you ever heard a sermon and go, boy, I wish that rascal would have been here today. I used to have people come up to me all the time. You know, man, I wish my friend Jerry would have come. He really could have used that sermon today and I'd look at him and go how about you? He goes, oh, I'm not doing too bad.

Speaker 1: 29:25

It's amazing how we hear for other people, but when we shift and we begin to hear for ourselves and it begins to change us and then out of that, we share about the things that God is sharing with us through His Word and the things he says with us, that changes us. And so I invite you to invite your kids into that conversation. It's a powerful conversation cycle through Bibles and write notes in them and then give them to my kids so that they could see my conversation with God and the things that I was learning. And I want to tell you I saw amazing things. I remember one of the Bibles I had was the Bible I've read when I was on the New York Jets getting ready to make the football team or trying to make the football team. And, boy, when you're a young athlete, they're not taking very many guys and your job's on the line. Boy, you seem to read scripture a lot more, but I wrote down the things that God was saying to me in my journals and my kids at times have read through those things and seeing the dad at the core of who I am is that if we had what they call a superpower. It's not in our own strength. Our superpower is in our ability to connect to the voice of God in our story and follow Him into the plan that he's made us for, and when our kids see that, it changes them so that, no matter what's going on in the world, it's okay. It's okay Because my dad's hearing from God and I can too. Amen. Let me pray for you and I'm so glad you're with us.

Speaker 1: 31:50

We're here every Tuesday now I've been away for a couple of weeks and on Thursday at 12 o'clock, I have a time for A Difference a Mother Makes, which would be great, and I think I have a slide for that. Let's see here. Yeah, that happens on Thursdays and we talk about issues related to moms and everything they go through, and would love for you to be there. Also, if you're new to our channel and you want to get in on a deal we have right now we have a free Men of Honor training program. If you go to my website at thefatherdifferencecom, you can get access and that's our gift to you right now, and we have a lot of people from around the world that are doing that and that would be an honor to show you. It's a video-driven course. It's for anybody, and maybe you're a gal and you're going boy. I'd like to learn more here.

Speaker 1: 33:03

I wrote a book here called the Father You've Always Wanted. It's also available for you. You can find that on our website at thefatheredifferencecom and in our bookstore. There you can get it, and it would be an honor to hear back from you how that's changing your life as well. So let's pray. If you have a comment or a prayer request, if you could shoot it to me right now as we kind of pray, I would love to do that, and you can connect to me through thefatherdifferencecom. If this has blessed you, if this has blessed you. You want a free book here or you want to be a part of helping guys get the Difference a Father Makes book? You can go to our website. So let's pray, father.

Speaker 1: 34:02

I'm so grateful for my friends that are online with me right now. I know their time is really important and I pray that, no matter what they're facing right now, that you know they would connect to you in such a way that they would be a light to their children, to their wives, to their families, to their businesses, in the midst of all the things that's going on in the world. I'm so grateful to be with them. I'm so grateful they're watching in the different platforms right now and I pray that you would visit them and you'd pour out your love to them as a father in a powerful, powerful way. Father, I pray you would bring healing to those places and them, in their marriages, in their relationships that need help, and I pray, lord, that you would use this time and use these things that we talked about connecting to you as sons and daughters, to just be a foundational piece in their life for the breakthrough that they really want in their relationships and how they see themselves. I ask you to bless them right now, father, in the name of Jesus, and I ask you, lord, I just ask you, to heal what they are asking you for today. In Jesus' name, amen. So grateful that you're here, so grateful that you're here, so grateful that you're watching.

Speaker 1: 35:35

Make sure that you connect to our website at thefatherdifferencecom. You want to support us? We would love that. If you want to get a free book, the Difference a Father Makes, that's at the website too. And remember, my friends, it is never too late for God, the Father, to, through His Son, come in and give you the family story that you've always wanted. I know that's true because he did that for me and I'm so grateful and matter of fact, I'm having my 14th grandchild being born here in the next couple of months just blows my mind so grateful that God turned this old football player around and made him a father that he wasn't for a long time. God bless you. Have a great day. Never too late for God to turn around our stories. We'll see you next week. God bless you.