The Father Difference
This podcast is about helping dads become better fathers.
It’s for dads who want to make a big difference in their kids’ lives (and be the best dads they can be) and want their children to have a loving and present father to help them.
It’s the reason we call it The Father Difference.
When God the Father makes a difference in us, we can make the same difference in our children's lives.
Imagine being the father God desires you to be, actively contributing to your children's dreams and future. Being a dad in their life story is crucial, and I believe it’s your most important role in life.
It only takes one Loving Father to change the course of a family for generations - and one perfect heavenly Father to begin the process in us.
We will post new podcast shows weekly.
It is our hope that The Father Difference will equip you to become the father you were meant to be.
I have coached and equipped men for 34 years in 14 countries.
Will you Join Me?
Praying for you - Ed McGlasson
The Father Difference
The Father's Blessing: Transforming Your Family Legacy
Father wounds affect 24 million American children living without biological fathers, creating devastating consequences including behavioral problems, youth suicide, and substance abuse.
• God chose each person before the foundation of the world with a specific purpose and identity
• Children look for their fathers' approval and presence, which gives them courage to become who they're meant to be
• A father's words can either bless children or limit them—speaking life changes outcomes
• Breaking generational patterns requires fathers to receive God's blessing themselves
• Being physically present isn't enough—emotional engagement is crucial for children
• Internal dialogue shaped by childhood experiences affects how fathers speak to their children
• Fatherlessness creates identity confusion that only knowing God as Father can heal
• Political and cultural forces increasingly try to replace the father's role in children's lives
Visit www.thefatherdifference.com/store to get your copy of The Father You've Always Wanted. Plus, get your access to our free coaching resources and free book at www.thefatherdifference.com/links!
Ready to be the parent or grandparent you’ve always dreamed of becoming? Subscribe and Tune into my podcast each week, and check out my resources, heartfelt encouragement, and practical tools to help you make a lasting impact on the ones you love most. Click this link below:
https://www.thefatherdifference.com/links
We are now live. Here we go. Let's see, here we can go. Here we go, we got. Go live here. Okay, instagram, we're live. Hi, I'm your host, ed Tanney-McLadsen. Well welcome. Hi, I'm your host, ed Tanney-McLasson. Well welcome, and I'm really excited about sharing with you as we get started in a book that I wrote called the Father You've Always Wanted, and we're going to be looking at that each week at 6 o'clock Pacific Standard Time, and that's West Coast time. And then also we're going to be looking at this with the gals on the Difference a Mother Makes at 12 noon every Friday no, I'm sorry, every Thursday. So I'm really glad to be with you here Looking forward to sharing with you as we get ready to get started here. I'm going to play you a little intro clip, just kind of why it's so important for this to happen. Here we go, let's roll this.
Speaker 2:I miss my daddy. Did you know that there are?
Speaker 1:24 million children living in America without their biological father. Those children suffer without a dad in their life. 85% of children with behavioral problems come from fatherless homes. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes and 75% of teen substance abusers come from fatherless homes and 75% of teen substance abusers come from fatherless homes.
Speaker 2:We are seeing the effects of fatherlessness in the news every day. Fatherlessness is the most devastating wound to our children.
Speaker 1:I've never met a dad who didn't want to become a better father, but I've met too many dads who didn't know how to be a better father. But I've met too many dads who didn't know how to be a good father because they didn't have a dad in their story either. Imagine the impact in your family if you could be the husband and father your family needs. I met too many dads who didn't know how to be a good father because they didn't have a good dad in their story. But there is hope.
Speaker 2:We have a ministry that helps turn the hearts of fathers back to their children and then the hearts of their children back to their dads.
Speaker 1:We need your help. Help us transform another man into the father his children need. It doesn't matter how you started your story, but what you do next can change your family for generations. Your donation right now will make a major impact. Every donation of $25 or more will receive a special gift from us. God did it for me, beloved. I know he can do it for you too.
Speaker 2:I love my daddy.
Speaker 1:Well, hey, that gets me every time I watch that. Our team put that together, and it is true. So goes to dad, so goes to home, but so goes Matt. Our team put that together, and it is true, so goes to dad, so goes to home, but so goes your grandkids. And we live in an unprecedented time right now, where we can have maximum impact on our children, on our families, on our children, on our families. And it all depends on something that we're going to start tonight, and tonight we're going to talk about really the importance of a father's blessing, and why is that so important, why is that so powerful, and so we're going to get right into it Now.
Speaker 1:If you've not gotten the book the Different Father Makes and you, I mean the father you've always wanted this is available in our bookstore online. You can also get a digital version there. All you got to do is go to our website at thefatherdifferencecom, and we're going to be talking about this for the next couple of weeks, and we would just love for you to have that and make sure you get one of these If you're one of our subscribers. You got one in the mail on the way to you. I'm really excited about getting that out to you, and we're going to talk about this and the difference this can really make in your family, in the life of your children, because, let's face it, here's the truth what happens to you can end up really happening to them as well. And so we're going to talk about that tonight as we kind of go through the chapter one, and so we're going to get right busy right now into that.
Speaker 1:And here's a scripture I want you to think about. You know, paul's writing this scripture to us and he says I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you might know the hope to which he has called you, in order that you might know the hope to which he has called you. There's a hope that God has called you to in your life, and also your children to, and also your grandchildren to, and when they discover that from God for themselves, it's a powerful thing. Well, how does that happen? Well, we can pray for them to discover it. That's awesome, but there's nothing more powerful than when you, as a dad, model that pathway to that core identity that God has called you to.
Speaker 1:A lot of talk today about identity. They even have a whole term identity politics. Well, god has an identity for you as a man and you as a woman that will supersede all the stuff we can add to ourselves in the world, because no matter what we add into the world, it's nothing close to what happens when God's the one who puts that into your life. And so you know, the prayer there in Ephesians is that I pray that the eyes of your heart might be opened right, really might be opened, in order that you might know the hope of His calling, that is. There's nothing more powerful than that for you. There's nothing more powerful than that for me is that when we're clear about who God has really called us to be. We're going to talk about that tonight, so I want to get right into this slide show with you tonight, this slide show. Too many words came out of my mouth today and they're kind of all jumbled together, and so here's the first slide, all jumbled together. And so here's the first slide.
Speaker 1:And one of the things that's just incredibly powerful is when we understand that God himself chose you and me and the life we would live and the difference that we would make before he created the earth. I mean that's just incredible to think about Way before. He's always had you in His heart, in His mind, which goes to show that that identity and who God's called you to be, there's nothing more powerful. There's nothing more powerful, there's nothing more profound than when you discover that for yourself in your life and you know he chose us in Christ, you know before the foundation of the world that we'll be holy and blameless before him. To have that kind of relationship with God that's not guilt-driven, where you're connected to his voice, you're connected to him and the love that he has for you.
Speaker 1:And you know, as we get started in this book, I started with a story of a young man, started with a story of a young man and before I show you I've kind of showed this slide, but it was a young football player and it was a chapel service that I did and I asked the kids when they're out there on the field we just finished the Olympics, you know what are they looking for? And one young man, right away, without even blinking, said I'm looking for my dad. And I said you know, why is that important to you? And here's his response. He writes let me get there for you.
Speaker 1:There's nothing in my life that means more to me than what my dad thinks of me. Wow, that's a powerful statement. Then he looked at me and confidently smiled a confident smile lighting on his face, and he says when my dad is there, there's nothing I can't do. When my dad is there, there's nothing I can't do. When my dad is there, there's nothing I can't do. You know, you, as a father, in the life of your daughters and your sons, when you're present, when you're watching, especially when you're smiling, when you're present for them, when you're, you know a part of their story and helping them, you know, really discover who God's called them to be is one of the most powerful things you can be. Rooting a mind from the sidelines, being there at the dance recitals, at the art classes, at the, et cetera, et cetera. There is nothing more—there's no one, by the way, that can replace you because God's given you such a unique and powerful role in the life of your family, and it's when you're there and when you're present, not when you're just home.
Speaker 1:I spent years just kind of going home and kind of being there. Daddy's home is what I heard when the car pulled up and my children would run out. I mean literally, would run out full speed and Luke would put his little head down and if I didn't turn sideways he'd run right, you know, hit me in the wrong place and knock me down and it would be night-night bootsy. You know, they were so excited of seeing me and I can't tell you how many times I came home and my first response was give dad some time to relax, give dad some time to kind of unwind. And boy, let me tell you, thank you, daryl, for your comment. There, man, I tell you, I crushed them. I remember their faces. They were expecting me to just be so excited to see them like they were to see me. And the more I did that, the less they sort of ran out to my car Because there's this missing piece. You know, I was.
Speaker 1:I remember, years ago, bill McCartney, one of the coaches for CU Buffs, head coach who started Promise Keepers. He pulled up in his driveway and he'd pray before he'd go into the house. And one of these nights he was pulling in and he had just started Promise Keepers and had over, I think, 1.2 million men at the mall in Washington, way bigger than any presidential coronation crowd, and all men who wanted to become better fathers, better husbands. There's a hunger out there. And he was thinking about his day and being the president of Promise Keepers and the head coach of CU Buffs and right there in the driveway the Lord just speaks to him, one of those things that he speaks to us as fathers that really resets us with our family. And the way he tells it in his own words.
Speaker 1:He said the Lord came to me and said, bill, you know, up to this point in your life you've made a lot of things about yourself and Lindsay, your wife, has followed you around everywhere. I want you to make the next season about your wife. And he told me that he came in and he wasn't just me, but he told many other people in his organization that he was going to resign it's a president of Promise Keepers, the men's movement, and even the head football coach job at CU so that he could be there to serve his wife, who she even you know, had developed a really bad emphysema and issues in her own health, and he spent many years just loving her and serving her. And that's a picture of a real man, isn't it? That's a picture of a guy who gets it, who follows the Lord and pours himself into his family, and there's nothing more powerful than that. Nothing more powerful than that. And the only way you can do that is that you got to have something at the core of who you are and your identity that's so satisfied and met by God that you're able to make those steps and do those things for the sake of your kids and your family, and there's nothing more powerful than that. We're going to get into that a little bit more, and so you know, to share the next slide with you, something that really began to affect me in Chapter 1 of the Father You've Always Wanted, and that is we were made by God for a purpose. We were made by God for a purpose, and when our fathers are there to love and bless us, they're present, you know. They're present in our story. It gives us the courage, as children, to become who God's created us to be. When you see a kid who's fearless, who's, you know, going for it, so often there is a dad there and, not to discount moms at all, but we're talking to fathers tonight there's a dad that's present there, and when you're there and you love your children and they can count on you, and you're there because you love them and you've laid your life down for them, something begins to change inside of them that when they need it, they have the courage to become exactly what God's created them to be. And the opposite is also true. When you're not there, it kind of creates a question mark.
Speaker 1:And boy, I did that for years with my children, you know. When video games started to be around, it seemed like their attention to playing video games grew. The more I was distracted, trying to discover myself or my life or those things that I was doing in my life, and the more I pushed away and was part of their story, the less they played those games. And it's really easy to get addicted to something like that, and I wouldn't say they for the most part of video games. We got a bunch of kids today who play football and basketball and baseball and drive race cars, but they've never gotten in a race car, they've never shot a hoop in a basketball, they've never played football, never played basketball. It's like the world is promising instant talent and the only thing you got to watch out for is you don't wear out your thumbs. Well, dads, I think the more we're engaged with our children, the more we do things with them. That's such a powerful difference.
Speaker 1:So I encourage you, if you're just joining in, we're in Chapter 1 of the Father You've Always Wanted. I just encourage you to get it, read it, and just—because the more you let God change your heart and the more God speaks to you about who he's called you to be, the more you're going to have to give to your kids. Do I hear an amen, amen. Thanks for your comments out there. Okay, the next slide I want to share with you. And that is so.
Speaker 1:And the other thing is, not only were we eternal beings, the calling of our life was determined before we were born. So if you want a Scripture to know whether or not life began in the womb—well, let me tell you. Your life began in the heart of the Father, and when your mom and dad came together and those two genetics connected and you were, you know, that heartbeat began. That beginning of life began. God, the Father, had a plan for you. He even said to young Jeremiah when he was a teenager and I love this water break here before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, gosh. That's profoundly powerful. Remember when I first began to understand that it just slayed my heart Because of all the time we try to work on ourselves to get better and we treat ourselves in such a way not like God does that we forget that we're eternal beings in the heart of the Father. And when he knitted you together there's another verse in Psalms that he knitted you together perfectly, fashioned you in your mother's womb Incredible, powerful thing. And not only that, but for that he consecrated you. I consecrated you. It's an incredible word. It's like I dedicate you, before you're even born, to a purpose that I have for you, that you've got to have me to be able to do. And he said to Jeremiah I appointed you a prophet to the nations. And he said to Jeremiah I appointed you a prophet to the nations. And so you don't have to go very far in Scripture to know that not only does life begin in the womb and that baby is perfect in God's eyes, but the baby has always been in the heart of the Father.
Speaker 1:That's why abortion is so devastating, not only for children, because it's devastating for girls who go through that. They never leave those moments and those memories. Because you can try to wish it away, you can try to make it a political. You know endgame and you know, this week one of the most evil things I've ever, you know, heard of is happening at a political rally in Chicago, where they've actually set up a portable abortion clinic for anybody who wants a free abortion and a free vasectomy. And so that's the point of politics. I'm not trying to be political here, that's just wicked. Because do they know that those are human beings, that God had already planned on the difference that their life would make?
Speaker 1:And so what happens when they're killed and they're murdered and taken out? That purpose of the father is silenced. Not that he can't raise up another, but that's just such a powerful picture of how devastating a world can be. And isn't it interesting? Almost every time before there's a great movement of God on the earth, moses, the Pharaoh, killed all the babies, all the newborns, trying to wipe out the Messiah. Over and over and over again, the devil has done everything he can to steal the life of those children, because it's about the life of the children that's in the heart of the Father.
Speaker 1:And I wasn't planning on going to all this detail, but you feel me right. It's such an important thing to pray about and to get involved with my daughter's, involved with an incredible group that talks to young mothers and gives them free ultrasound so they can see that baby inside of them. And many of these moms have made decisions for an abortion but took one more step and when they see that child, that child's got a heartbeat and it's perfect and it has, you know, the right number of toes and parts and they're anything that's more precious and powerful in the hand of God. And here's the deal you are that person. To Him, you were perfectly and wonderfully made. It doesn't matter how good or bad your dad was or kind of childhood. To God, the Father, my friend, you are extraordinary and you'll always be with Him. We're going to go a little bit longer tonight. I have a few more things to share with you, so hang with me.
Speaker 1:Here's the next slide. See, when God designed you, he had a dream in His heart for what your life would look like in his heart, for what your life would look like From your first breath. God has sought to reveal to you that he has always been there, rooting you on. And when you're on the field of life, who are you looking for in the stands? Who's rooting you on, who's watching you and whose love empowers you to accomplish everything to which you've been called. That's such a powerful thing to know that we. You know we're created and you know God knew us way before we were born. You know, way before he said let there be light. You know, way before he said let there be light, you were in the heart of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Nothing's more powerful than that. Here's an image that I'm not quite ready to tell you that, because, see, when you're there, something powerful happens in the life of your children, like when God's there, and you recognize that in your own life something really powerful happens. And my son Luke, and we're going to go to that slide. Okay, I'll bring that back. I see your comments.
Speaker 1:Here's my son Lucas, a picture of him playing baseball. And the time before this, at bat, he had struck out and he was really discouraged. And all through the stands are apparent well-wishers. Many times there's dads there, who's you know the way they're yelling at their sons. It's like they're they're trying to prove that their genetic pool is superior to all the other dads. And I mean these are just little guys trying to play football, I mean baseball.
Speaker 1:And here's Lucas. He's. He strikes out in the bat before this and he's, he went back to the dugout. He was just really hard on himself Cause I was there. He wanted to, he wanted to prove to me that he could hit the ball and he struck out and he was in there and he was upset and mad at himself and and I remember walking over to him and I'm just going God, what do I say to my son, because I've been traveling quite a bit.
Speaker 1:So this is the big deal that I showed up at this game and I walked over to him and I said, hey, lucas, look at me. He goes what. And I said, son, let me tell you something, come over here. And I reached my hand through the fence and I said I'm going to pray for you right now and the Spirit of the Lord is going to fall on you the next time you get up to bat. You're going to swing and you're going to hit the ball to center field, right off the fence, in the name of Jesus.
Speaker 1:Well, sure, now, a couple of things later, lucas comes up and he goes out. He looks at me, he does one of those big leaguers, you know, kind of moves, and he takes his bat and he points it to center field, like he just is the best hitter on the team and he had just struck out and he got up there and the first pitch came right down the middle and he hit it and I mean it shocked him. He hit it so hard and it ricocheted off the top of the pole of the center field fence and he ran around, got to second base and he was jumping like Kermit the Frog Well, that dates me, you know what, kermit the Frog? And he was just so excited to be able to do that in front of his dad. Of course I'm cheering and Jill's going crazy and he's just in something I I caught in that moment.
Speaker 1:I caught in that moment. I caught that those words that come out of our mouth, those words of our mouth, are extraordinarily powerful in the lives of our children and those words can either bless our kids or they can limit our kids. And the better we are in what we say, the more impact we can have with our children. But what if you've blown it? We can always go and ask for forgiveness. That's never a deal, but one of the reasons why we don't do that more is because of that.
Speaker 1:Our own internal voice many times has been skewed maybe by the, the, how hard your dad was or wasn't, or you know, um, on your life and, without meaning to you, you kind of transfer that same model over your, over your children. I've even made promises and done a lot of coaching of guys in a lot of different countries where, if you know, I ask them you know, when you became a dad were there some things that you promised you would never do, that your dad did. And boy, every guy that I've asked that question to say, oh yeah, I say, well, let me ask you this Did you ever break that promise? All the time and I say you know why? And they go, I'm not really sure why. I say, well, you know, we're only able to give away those things that we received. So if we had a dad who blessed us and knew how to be a great father, that kind of changes how we see ourselves. That also kind of changes how we speak to ourselves and the way we sort of live out that story. Well, if we didn't have that in our life and our dads didn't know how to do that because their own fathers never did that, then we struggle in our stories and that internal talk.
Speaker 1:If you think about the way you talk to yourself right now, what is that internal voice like? What are some of the things that you say to yourself as a man, and could some of those sometimes are there some of those things kind of leak out? Because what we need more than anything is we need a blessing from the Father, and that's what I needed and that's what this whole chapter is about, and I encourage you to get into this chapter. Here's a couple more quotes and we'll tie this together and we'll catch up next week and see, one of the things you know that I wrote in a book is that my son called my spile and knew that he was seen and loved by his father. The words we speak in our children can make all the difference in the world, and that's true. Seeing an involved father can make all the difference in his child's life. His love and care can be a deciding factor Now hear what I'm saying to you. Factor and here's what I'm saying to you can be the deciding factor in helping a young one become who he or she is created to be.
Speaker 1:When our hearts are filled with security and trust and the dad who's present and loves us. We transition from living for our father's approval, like when our dads are angry all the time so we're always trying to please them, to beginning to learn to live from His approval. That's ultimately what God the Father will do for you and will do for me, and it's one of those incredible, powerful things that we need in our own story. And so I think we live in this day and we live in this hour, and I'm going to kind of tie this together right now. And here's a promise from Jesus John 16, 25, and I think, more than anything in the world, we need this right now, and that is Jesus said. There's hours coming when I'm going to no longer speak to you in figures of speech, but I'll tell you plainly about the Father and that really you know, man, do we need that in our life?
Speaker 1:Right now more than ever, we need to know who God the Father is, because our culture right now is slipping and to drift, because the devil and too many political entities around the world are partnering with the devil to remove you and I from the lives of our children and our grandchildren, thinking that they can be the ones to father our children. Well, I got to tell you. That's evil, that's wicked, and God is going to respond. So I was saying earlier, every time there's some massive slaughter of children and massive, there's this—God steps up and does something extraordinary. Is God steps up and does something extraordinary? They tried to kill all the children born in Jesus' day because of fear that a king was going to be born. Well, they missed Jesus and he was born and he came and he lived and he modeled what a life in the Father is like, and then he died on the cross for you and I, so that we could know who the Father is in our story, and there's nothing that's more powerful than that. It's there. Can I get an amen? Amen. Thank you for Facebook Live, instagram, for all your comments. It means so much and you know to kind of—let me see.
Speaker 1:Next week we're going to talk about how to get more of that blessing in your life, how to receive it in your life, no matter how old you are. Kind of part two of chapter one of the Father you've always wanted, and so, with that, I would love an opportunity to pray for you. If you've got a special prayer need, if you could just text that to me right now. You can do that right on the screen. I would love that. We're going to add you, and if you haven't received yet, some of the things that we have for you in one is that you can go to our website right now and get this book and we'll ship it right out to you. If you become a partner, you get one sent to you for free, and that would be our gift to you. And also we have a free daily devotional that we write every day and send out and broadcast to all of our subscribers, just a time to open God's Word and to begin to hear from God, the Father, like Jesus did every day.
Speaker 1:The Bible says he went out early in the morning, when it was still dark, to go spend time with his father, to fill himself with the words of his father, so he could finish the race and the things he needed to do. And boy do we need that. And if you get a prayer request right now that your family is struggling and there's some things that you need some help with, if you'll email me at edtandy at blessingofthefathercom email me right there and tell me what you'd like to pray about, and if you're open, we could give you a free coaching appointment to kind of connect in, and so this is kind of the beginning of a teaching that we also finish. We start live, but we finish in our online coaching group called the Father Difference Coaching Group, and right now there is free access for you. If you copy that link and you go right now, you can get a free membership, that we're giving free access right now to men and you can get the complete program that we have. It would be our gift to you that we have. It would be our gift to you.
Speaker 1:All that to say, would love it if you would pray. If you need prayer, I'd love to pray with you right now. So, father, I pray for my friends. I ask you to bless them right now. I ask you to speak to them. I ask you to open your word to them and use their lives in profound ways so they can make a difference every place they go.
Speaker 1:I thank you so much, lord, that they're here tonight. I thank you for their comments. I thank you for all the things they do and I pray, lord, that you would bless them in a powerful way through these live broadcasts that we do, and I'd love to see them online in our online group where we meet with online coaching and video tutorials, and in our academy. I would be an honor to have you be a part of that and I ask you, lord, to bless them and use them in their story, in their life, and heal their families. Use them as the best dads they can and you're welcome, sourdough Joe. Thank you, pastor Ed. God bless you, my friend, and I'm going to end with kind of an intro video that we talked about. That kind of encapsulates how important you are, how important your children are right now in this season. Here it goes.
Speaker 2:I miss my daddy.
Speaker 1:Did you know that there are 24 million children living in America without their biological father? Those children suffer without a dad in their life. 85% of children with behavioral problems come from fatherless homes. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes and 75% of teen substance abusers come from fatherless homes.
Speaker 2:We are seeing the effects of fatherlessness in the news every day. Fatherlessness is the most devastating wound to our children.
Speaker 1:I've never met a dad who didn't wanna become a better father, but I've met too many dads who didn't know how to be a good father because they didn't have a dad in their story either. Imagine the impact in your family if you could be the husband and father your family needs. I met too many dads who didn't know how to be a good father because they didn't have a good dad in their story. But there is hope.
Speaker 2:We have a ministry that helps turn the hearts of fathers back to their children and then the hearts of their children back to their dads. We need your help.
Speaker 1:Help us transform another man into the father his children need. It doesn't matter how you started your story, but what you do next can change your family for generations. Your donation right now will make a major impact. Every donation of $25 or more will receive a special gift from us. God did it for me, beloved. I know he can do it for you too.
Speaker 2:I love my daddy.
Speaker 1:I love that every time I watch it and that's the truth and imagine where our country could be in 10 years from today when those guys a lot of guys just like us, who get counted out every single day as fathers are equipped to be the best dads. There's ministries like mine all over the world. God is raising up many, many incredible godly men, and many of them are my friends who are reaching men. What I'll just brag on is Jeff Kemp has an amazing ministry to men. He's a former quarterback. He's a snub to football too.
Speaker 1:My friend, brian Holloway, down there in Florida, brianhollowaycom. He's been reaching kids. There's ministry springing up because God the Father doesn't want another guy like me or you, or if you're a gal, to not know what it's like to have a blessing from God the Father in their life. Would you join me? Would you pray with me? We would love to help you any way we can. God bless you, my friends, remember it's never too late for God to turn around our stories and make us the fathers our children have always wanted us to be. God bless you, my friend.
