Your Voice Changes Everything: How Fathers Build Identity

There's nothing more powerful for a child than having their father publicly declare his love and delight in them, giving them a foundation of identity that helps them navigate life's challenges.

• A father's voice carries a unique authority that no government, program, or institution can replicate
• When God blessed Jacob (Israel), he gained the capacity to bless his son Benjamin
• Your father's words, whether positive or negative, have shaped your identity and outlook
• We can only give away what we've first received – fathers must experience blessing to effectively bless
• The story of Benjamin shows how a father's blessing can transform a "son of sorrow" into a "son of my right hand"
• Even spiritual fathers can speak transformative words that redirect someone's life trajectory
• It's never too late to receive God's blessing or to speak blessing over your children
• Your true identity comes from being God's beloved son, not from your performance, mistakes, or appetites

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Chapters

• 0:00 The Power of a Father's Voice
• 8:16 Nothing More Powerful Than a Dad's Blessing
• 18:33 Jacob's Story: Receiving God's Blessing
• 25:30 Changing Names: From Ben-Oni to Benjamin
• 34:29 Receiving to Give: The Father's Blessing
• 40:49 Closing Prayer and Course Offering

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

What kind of father do you want to be? What kind of man do you want to become for your family and for yourself? If you've ever wondered how to step into the fullness of your role as a father, husband and man of God, then you're in the right place. Here at the Father Difference, our mission is to inspire and equip men to be the fathers they can be. It's a powerful mission and today we're going to explore exactly how you can take steps toward that calling. Whether you're a father, a son, a husband or just looking to grow, I believe God has something powerful for you in today's message. Whether you're tuning in live or watching this later, we are so excited to have you here. So welcome to the Father Difference Live and your host, a husband, father, grandfather, author and former NFL player, pastor Ed McGlasson.

Speaker 2: 1:06

Hey, welcome. I am so grateful that you're here, excited about sharing this special show tonight about the power of a dad's words, of a dad's voice. And have you ever wondered why, in our crazy culture right now, there is so much attack against you as a father? Why is that? Well, because you carry something that the government will never carry, that the world will never carry, that the devil doesn't have power to do. And that's your voice, dad, the power of your words over your children, over your life, over your own story. Just incredible power that you have in your life. And when you learn to unlock it and use this little thing called a tongue for God's purposes, it can change your whole family story. Excited about it here, welcome Parker. And Christian Isaac, welcome here. Let me know what countries you're coming from and where you're—I'd love to find out where you're from and so today we're going to get right into this, because I promised this to you, want to deliver this. I'm speaking to you from my studio here, the Tandy Studios. It's kind of an art studio and at the same time it's video and all these other things. But it's wonderful to be here tonight on this show and share with you some things that completely revolutionized my own family story. So let's get into the material here.

Speaker 2: 2:58

Number one there are you know, actually I'm on the wrong slide. Here is one of the things that's really there's nothing more powerful. I write this in my book the Father You've Always Wanted. It's a book that we're going through. If you've not gotten one to read, I encourage you to get one. It's got a website and it's really a good read and it's filled with insights to really help you become the best dad you can be. And if you're a mom, like we do on Thursdays at 12 o'clock, you invite your lady to come. But the truth is there's nothing more powerful for a child to have his or her dad publicly declare his love and delight over them. It's something incredibly powerful when you learn how to bless your sons, bless your daughters, with words that help them frame out who God has made them to be. We're going to explain that a bit later.

Speaker 2: 4:07

I mean, can you imagine being near Jesus at the top of that mountain? There's a great story in 2 Peter where Jesus went up with Peter, james and John on top of a mountain and there God, the Father, manifested Himself. Elijah appeared, moses appeared and the voice of the Father said over Jesus again this is my beloved Son, in whom I love you. Imagine being in that moment if you were Peter or James or John, right in the midst of that incredible moment and in hearing the voice of God the Father speaking over his son, that same voice that God the Father wants to speak over your life. Well, the truth of the matter is that Jesus was never the same from that moment. See, there's two times in Scripture that records that the Father was heard when Jesus was walking on earth, and both these times it was heard by other people as well, when he spoke to bless His Son and to name His Son.

Speaker 2: 5:16

Those two things happen out of your mouth, dad. When you bless your sons or you bless your daughters. It has a great power. I mean, think about your own story. How your dad talked to you. What kind of words did he use? Did he bless your life? Did he say the sky's the limit. There's nothing you can't do. I'm backing you up with all I got. Or was he a broken dad in that his own father never blessed him? See, something happens.

Speaker 2: 5:50

I continue to write here to us when our fathers declare their love and blessing over us their approval, and it's another way of saying we feel seen, we feel celebrated. There's nothing like that. It's like being in a stands in a football game and you see your dad up there in the stands Powerful, powerful thing. But to hear your dad say that this is what I love about my son or daughter, that can mark you for the rest of your life Powerful, powerful truth and powerful truth for you as a dad, for your children right now, and even the way you speak to your friends. You're going to have a profound impact by the way you use your voice.

Speaker 2: 6:45

So let me ask you this question. We have them here in the notes. How would your life be different today if your dad had said those same words that Jesus heard? This is my son, marked by my love, the focus of my delight. What would change in your story and the way you see yourself right now, the way you love, the way you risk, the way you bless your own family? I mean, one of the incredible benefits of learning how to do this, dads, is that if you'll bless your children and speak life into them, you're going to hear that one day when they do it to your grandkids, and that's what I'm experiencing right now. It's one of those incredibly tender moments when I watch my children that God showed me how to bless their lives.

Speaker 2: 7:41

Now, bless my grandkids, and you know what it does for grandchildren it gives them this foundation of love. It gives them this foundation where they can risk and go for life because they're not questioning about what. Does my dad think about me? Think about your own life. How much you might have wrestled with discovering your own personal identity. How has God made me in my life? What's he called me to do?

Speaker 2: 8:18

And yet you know it's described that the boomers came out is pretty much the me generation. We've made everything about ourselves and no matter how much you pursue the world, or fame, or money, or careers, or even the failure we have in our life, we can name ourselves by all those things and miss the incredible power that God has for us when we learn to get our identity from Him, nothing more powerful than that. That's actually the secret to our broken culture. Now, this election is incredibly important, and so go vote, go vote and vote out of the things in God's word that you believe that the next administration should be doing, and then go vote. But I'm not here to talk about the voting, because it's going to happen whether we're worried about it or not. But the issue is, I'm interested in calling out the most powerful people in our culture.

Speaker 2: 9:28

And guess what? It's not the President of the United States, not the Congress, the Senate. It's not world leaders, it's not the czars of different countries. It's fathers. Fathers have an incredible responsibility, but an incredible power in the life of their children. No matter how much you think you've blown it, it's never too late to be a great dad. It's never too late to be able to repair and to fix those kind of things, because you're still living. If you're watching this, you're still living. If you're not watching this and you can't tune in, because you're still living. If you're watching this, you're still living. If you're not watching this and you can't tune in, well, I'm sorry. So it's never too late. Good to see you, greg. Welcome, greg Fisher.

Speaker 2: 10:27

And so you know, what's powerful about learning to use our voice and to bless our children is that it can change an entire story of somebody. I want to share with you the story in the Bible. I've probably shared with before, but it's a. You know. There's this place where there's an undeniable picture of what happens when God blesses somebody and then when that same father takes that same blessing and then blessings a son and the result of what that does in their life. So we're going to look at it tonight. So we're going to look at it tonight. And so there's a.

Speaker 2: 11:04

You know Jacob, whose name in the Bible can mean trickster. You know he was a great dealmaker and God had blessed his life, but there was something missing with him. He went out on a journey and ended up encountering the pre-incarnate Christ, wrestles with the angel of the Lord and basically says I'm not going to let you go until you bless me. And so Jacob wanted a blessing. You know there's something inside of each one of us that when we're totally honest, we can't make it in our own strength. We've got to be willing to be that honest, because that's the truth. You and I, just in our manliness, can't be everything that our children need us to be. I wish that were so. Then we'd write a book and we'd talk about. I did it my way.

Speaker 2: 12:04

But the truth of the matter for you and me is that we need God in our story. I shared with you a few weeks ago that when Enoch became a father—they're in Genesis when they talk about him—you know the guy that was taken up by God and never died but it says that when he became a father he walked with God for the rest of his days. There's something about fathering for us as men that when we enter into that process and maybe that's fathering somebody else's kids, being a stepdad or being a mentor there's something about fathering that requires us to connect to God in such a way that we're able to catch and to speak His blessing to those children in front of us. And when that moment happens in their story, something—it's like holy superglue from heaven identity superglue sticks upon that child. Now, those same children, many of them raised in the church.

Speaker 2: 13:16

Today, outside of the church today, the confusion, the multiple-gender offering that the enemy offers to children, all those things the gay lifestyle and now the trans lifestyle and all those kind of things is an attempt by children to name themselves. And the only way that you can name yourself outside of God is to name yourself based on your appetite, based on what turns you, on what. You end up thinking that you're this person because that's an appetite in you. The only problem is that it's short-lived and they don't end. Well, I mean, nobody talks about that in that community, and I have an incredible heart and have ministered for years in the gay community and seen, without exaggeration, hundreds and hundreds of men and women who thought their true identity was to be gay. And when they met God, the Father, through His Son Jesus, and learned about their true identity in Christ, they got a brand new beginning and a brand new story, so much more than anything the world wants to offer. And so that's a powerful thing.

Speaker 2: 14:45

When God does that, it's a powerful thing and it could be that your identity is in making money in your job, your identity is all kinds of things in your life, but if you're not connected to the true identity that God has called you to, then you're going to suffer. Now this story goes on. Has called you to, then you're going to suffer. Now this story goes on and it says that he's wrestling with the angel of the Lord at the Padder Ram and I'm wearing a Ram jersey tonight in honor. And this angel blessed him and God said to him your name is Jacob no longer, but your name shall be called Jacob, but Israel shall be your name. So God renames this child, israel. Just imagine the impact of that. Just imagine the impact of that, of having God himself rename you in your life and you know Israel.

Speaker 2: 15:50

Actually, one of the translations, the Hebrew translation of that word, is father of many nations, because he actually said to him that's what you're going to do with your life, that God's going to bless you in such a way where you're going to be a father of many nations and his sons grew up to be the tribes of Israel, the 12 tribes. Amazing story in itself. But God started by changing his name with a blessing, and so he called his name Israel, blessing, and so he called his name Israel. And then the blessing that you receive in your life maybe it's a blessing from a coach or a person or a great teacher comes up to the level of the authority and the power that they have. But when the Lord, god Almighty, bless you, look what comes with it. He says.

Speaker 2: 16:45

So he called his name Israel and God said to him I am God Almighty, I am that I am. Be fruitful and multiply. And so he gave him this command that he's going to be fruitful, he's going to multiply, and then he tells him about what's going to happen. Multiply, and then he tells them about what's going to happen, and a nation and a company of nations shall come from you and kings shall come from your own body. Imagine carrying the blessing of God, the Father, in your life, where he changes your name and you carry that inheritance now, as a son, to be fruitful, to multiply, and that your children that come from you will even become kings and queens. Think about just the possibility of that, because God does call us a royal priesthood, a holy nation.

Speaker 2: 17:49

Then he says and the land that I give to Abraham and Isaac I will give to you, to Abraham and Isaac, I will give to you. So God does a land swap right there and I will give the land to your offspring after you. And so the whole battle that we see around Israel comes because God Himself said he's going to bless Jacob, change his name, be with him, make him fruitful and multiply, and he's going to give him a land that nobody else is going to be able to take, no matter how many scud missiles that the opposition shoots. God gave that land to his offspring Great, great picture in Scripture. And so now Jacob goes back. You know he's had this incredible encounter with the Lord. He's going back to get back to his wife, who's very pregnant with her next son, and comes in and just has this incredible. Not only did he have an incredible encounter with the Lord, he now comes up upon the wagon train and discovers the biggest shock of his life His wife had died, had died and in her last breath, because it was such a hard childbirth, she called his name Ben-Oni. Ben-oni in Hebrew means son of my sorrow.

Speaker 2: 19:30

I remember when I read this years ago and in the process of learning about all this myself, an incredible power that happens in us when God really becomes our Father and we learn to receive His blessing is that he loves changing names. And yet how many times do children raised only by a mom suffer and live the life of sorrow because their dad isn't there to bless them and help them discover who God's called them to be? See that role right there, my friend, as a father. Nobody gets that, even if you're divorced and you're the birth dad, you carry something powerful that your children need. They might call you every bad name in the book because of the result of the divorce or the separation, or their anger or their struggle. You still carry something. Or their anger or their struggle, you still carry something. Part of what we do in our ministry is reunite dads with their kids and help them how to navigate that, and it is. We've had hundreds, if not thousands, of families restored when fathers learn the power they have and their ability to not only receive a blessing from God but then to give that same blessing to their children. And so here comes Jacob, whose name is what Israel now. He now has the capacity from God to bless his son because he got a blessing, to bless his son because he got a blessing. That's the way it works.

Speaker 2: 21:22

When God blesses you with salvation, and by grace, you've been saved through faith. At least any man should know it's a gift of God. The Bible says You've got the gift of salvation in you, and so when God calls you to go share that gift with somebody else, well, guess what? You have that gift in you from Christ. And so when you go share Christ with a friend or you go share Christ with an enemy, you carry an authority. That's why you might be being persecuted. Right now, christians are being persecuted. Well, good to see you, emmanuel, so glad you're here. And GFF not sure what your name is? Well, welcome to our live broadcast.

Speaker 2: 22:08

But something happens inside of you when you've received that gift of salvation from God. That's how you got saved. You didn't get saved because it was your idea. It was time for you to turn over a new leaf and start a new chapter in your life and be a better person. No, you were saved when you were still stuck in the grave of your sin, and the Bible says in Romans 5a that while we were still dead in our sins I mean useless Christ died for us. And how did he? Not only die for us, but God, the Father, sent the gift of grace to you and to me to receive, and when we receive it.

Speaker 2: 22:50

One great thing about salvation is that we can only receive it. We can't produce it, because if we could produce it, we would brag about how good we are, and if we boast in ourselves, the Bible says we're going to be humbled. So it's just bad news to do that. So everything that you need from God to be a great father, great husband, great friend or a godly single man getting ready for the romance of your lifetime is you got to learn to receive it from God.

Speaker 2: 23:21

And here's a picture of God, the Father Himself, blessing through Christ right into Ben-Oni's life. He changes his name to Benjamin Israel, changes son's name to Benjamin, and Benjamin in Scripture means son of my right hand. He changed him from son of my sorrow, that has no blessing and only has got a mom there, to son of my right hand. And I meet guys like that all the time, every single day, who have no clue about how amazing they are to God the Father. That's why God the Father sent His Son to not only die in your place, as the Christ did, so that you could receive forgiveness. He died in your place so you could also receive the blessing of His Father. Jesus even said I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me. He said it's all up so that we could receive that gift of salvation, receive that gift of his blessing in our life. Why? Because, as equipment goes, if you're a fireman, you would need to know how to turn on the hose and hold it to put out the fire. Imagine having the equipment of being able to use your voice and your life and the way you live to absolutely bless your children. Think about what that would be like. Think about your own kids right now and measuring your own fatherhood story with them based on how much they are receiving from you, because when my kids aren't receiving from you, they're receiving something else from somewhere else, and I hear almost a 007 song dun dun, dun, dun dun. You know, it's like I got to get back engaged with my sons and my daughters because they need a dad, because they need a dad, this whole world needs a father, and not only is God the father, the ultimate father to his son, he is anointed and knighted you as a man with this incredible potential, if you'll learn how to receive that, for yourself, to be a father maybe a spiritual father to a kid in your neighborhood or a friend of one of your children, to be that kind of father that understands that his words, can start a whole new season in the life of someone.

Speaker 2: 26:10

I was in an airport, you know, running to catch my plane only about 15 minutes, and out of the corner of my eye, I was looking over and I saw all of the Olympic team. There's a bunch of Olympic athletes on the way to Europe for the Olympic Games and there was a young man there that I saw and it just there, that I saw, and it just there are times, as a spiritual father, where God will show you somebody that you can't walk away from. And I went over to him and I looked at him and I said hey, what are you guys doing? We're on our way to Olympics. I'm an ice skater and blah, blah, blah talking. I went wow, that's awesome. And I looked at him and I said you know, the Lord sent me over here to you because I'm not sure that you really understand how amazing you are. This guy it's like he's like whoa.

Speaker 2: 27:08

And I said I don't have a lot of time to talk to you because I got to make my plane, but here I want to give you something. And I pulled out one of my preaching Bibles. I said my sense is that God is going to do something so extraordinary and so deep in you that your future is going to be about taking things out of this great book and sharing with other people. Taking things out of this great book and sharing with other people. And he looks at me, you know, like a Labrador. That's kind of wondering what the heck's going on. And I gave him my Bible. He goes you're going to give me your preaching Bible. I said, yeah, if you'll read it every day, god will speak to you. And then I prayed for him, blessed him and just made my airplane.

Speaker 2: 28:00

Well, I didn't know what happened with him, and about two years after that event, I get this email. Hi, ed, this is Mark. I can't tell you how much my life has changed since you stopped and talked to me at the airport. I wish I could tell you I won the gold medal. I didn't, but we had a great Olympics and I went home and I looked at that Bible for a while and then I started reading it and I couldn't stop and that I've given my life to Jesus Christ. I gave my life to Christ.

Speaker 2: 28:42

I've been following him, I've been reading it, I've been telling others about what I'm learning, and I met the most amazing girl and have a family, and we've started a family, and I just want to thank you for stopping for me and giving me a blessing. See, that's how powerful your voice is, dad, because if I can do it as an old football player, you can too. Something happens when we receive it from God and then give it away. So let's go back here to notes. And so here's Benjamin. And did you know? The tribe of Benjamin was started because a father got a blessing from God, got his name changed and he changed the name of his son and the tribe of Benjamin was formed through the blessing of Israel on his son.

Speaker 1: 29:38

Amazing.

Speaker 2: 29:39

We don't know the length and the breadth and the depth of what happens with our children, but when we enter in to receiving God's blessing for us, we have something to give our kids. And so it goes on. The story goes on. Something to give our kids, and so it goes on. The story goes on. And so here's the truth that your voice over your kids has great power to expand their horizons or limit them. Think about those words that a grandfather or a coach, or maybe your dad, said to you that were like wow, that's a keeper. And you still live by it today. Some of us even live by those words from our dad, because our dad's words have power. Even when they're negative, we try to live down those things. So how God changes that. God changes that when we let him become the father we need, in our story too. And so think about those places where you've spoke destiny into your children, and they received it from you. Those are great days, aren't they See? You know God's promise in 2 Corinthians 6.18, I will be a father to you and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord over the five. And they're misspelling God Almighty, amazing. God's plan is to be your Father, who fathers you, and the more you can receive that, the more grace you carry as a son to be the father your children need you to be. See, the life of Jesus reveals something. I wrote this in this book, right here in chapter 5, that we're looking at right now. It reveals the difference between the God-given dreams and their false counterparts.

Speaker 2: 31:40

At least twice during Jesus' life, his heavenly Father spoke audibly and publicly about His Son, saying this is my Son, marked by my love, the focus of my delight. That's what he said to Jesus in the river. That's what he said in 2 Peter 1.17, when Peter, james and John heard the audible voice of the Father bless his Son. Well, if Jesus needs that for His life, how much more do we need in our story? Think about the power of that moment, what that can mean for you. Matter of fact, how do you receive that? Well, you can receive it right now. You don't need to somehow have to be in the Jordan River and to hear that audible voice of the Father and be back there. You don't have to just think well, that was just a great moment for Jesus. He wants to give that same moment to you and to I in Christ.

Speaker 2: 32:48

That's one of the incredible benefits of being a beloved son or being a beloved daughter of the Father in heaven. He's wanted to re-father the children of Adam and Eve and when we're born again, he gets his kids back. It's amazing. You get born again with a new birth father. He gets his kids back and begins to bless our lives. Why is that so important? Because we can only give away those things that we've learned to receive from God. God's grace in, god's grace out. God's Word into us as we receive it and live it. God's Word out of us have great power to bless our children, to bless our families, to lead them that wisdom and all the benefits of that.

Speaker 2: 33:38

And so maybe you've never had your dad bless you and you've waited for that moment. You might be watching this recording right now, a couple days from when we recorded this, and you're saying, man, I need this for me. Well, I'd love to just pray with you right now, the same prayer that God the Father blessed me with when I began to discover that, even though my dad was killed in action and my stepfather did the best job he could, god the Father wants to come into our lives to make us his sons and daughters. If you're a gal and watching this, that he's called us to be, so just open your hands, wherever you are, if you want a blessing. I just want to pray for you and God, the Father, is going to bless you tonight. Father, I thank you for my friends that are watching, from whatever country they're in, whether it's recorded, or they're watching this live, or they're watching this live, and I just want to say to you something that I think God is saying to you right now. And if you have Christ in your life and you've received him, god the Father wants to say this to you From this moment on, your name is no longer about your backstory.

Speaker 2: 35:20

It's no longer about what's been stolen or what your dad couldn't do. It's no longer about your sins, no longer about your mistakes that you've made. Your life really is no longer about your success and all those things you achieved. Those are worthy things to pursue, but from this moment on, god the Father says that your new name and your new identity is that you are my beloved son, in whom I love, and all the blessing that you need, my beloved Son in whom I love, and all the blessing that you need, all the blessing I have in heaven, in Christ, is yours, and the Father would say I have waited for this moment to adopt you and to make you a son and Father.

Speaker 2: 36:08

I pray for my friends that are watching and I pray that you would bless them, holy Spirit. I pray you would fall on them right now, wherever they are, and that you would light them on, father, with their true identity that we have in you. And it's not about our role in the church, it's not about our jobs, it's not about our brokenness, it's not about our sexual appetites. Our identity is all about whose son we are, and we are either the son of yours, father, or we're the son of the evil one. So, lord, we choose to be your sons and you say you are my beloved sons and you are my beloved daughters, says the Lord, god Almighty. And all that you need in the inheritance that you've been waiting for is yours, because I'm now your Father in heaven through my Son, jesus, who I sent so that you could be adopted in our family. In Jesus' name, amen, amen, amen. Has that blessed you tonight? You received that love to hear back from you If you could leave me comments. Good to see you. Jenny Bell, one of my favorite girls. Blessings from Ireland, papa Ed. Good to see you, emmanuel. Yes, bless you Emmanuel. You Bless you, emmanuel. You are the beloved of the Lord. You are the beloved of the Lord and it's never too late for you to receive all that God has for you, and he blesses you tonight.

Speaker 2: 38:03

Make sure, if you joined in late, to get to the beginning of this show and rewind it to talk about how to come up to this point, and maybe you're interested in you want to grow. Well, we have a special offer as well. I have a course that I've done online that I'm going to give you right now. This is running out. This is running out. I'm going to give you free access to an online course that you can do right there in your home, on your phone, etc. Called how to Become the Husband and Father your Family Needs.

Speaker 2: 38:55

If you want to up your game this is a perfect segue to what I've just shared you can go to my website, thefatherdifferencecom. You'll see the link there and would love for you to learn to experience what it's like to be a son. That's what this course is about how to receive so you can be the best father, husband, or maybe stepdad or maybe ex You're no longer married. How to even love your ex-wife and that family and her children. Or how to be a great mom, how to agree. Even though it's written towards guys, I knew that moms would sneak in there and read it, and that's powerful, and so Jenny goes.

Speaker 2: 39:27

I hope my future husband does your course. Well, it should be required reading in Ireland for all those artist boys who want the hanky-panky before they encounter Christ. So I love Ireland. It's one of my favorite places to do ministry. So, lord bless you. I'm going to let you go and make sure you go to my website, thefatherdifferencecom. You can get anything right there and we have everything there on our website. And we have an academy offer that's coming up and we'd love for you to join our academy. It's got private coaching and extra video feeds and things to really help you become everything that God's called you to be.

Speaker 2: 40:14

So, lord bless you. So great you got it. Emmanuel, that's your gift. Get on it and remember my friends. It's never too late for God to give you a new beginning. Never too late for God to be your father. Never too late for you to bless your children and get your kids back. It's never too late for you to find that mission and live out of the purpose that he made you for when he dreamed about you. Before he said let there be light. Lord bless you. Have a great night. Can't wait to see you next week. We'll talk to you soon. Bye.