Be The Man She Can't Resist

We share a simple, hard path for becoming the man your wife wants to draw close to stop fixing, start listening, and build trust through small, steady acts. Stories from the scripture, and practical steps help you earn permission to love well and lead with faith.

• Letting go of trying to improve your wife
• Active listening that seeks feelings and needs
• Taming anger by earning the right to influence
• Practicing daily appreciation with words and notes
• Keeping promises to create emotional safety
• Repairing with apology and follow-through
• Championing her dreams with a “dream date”
• Growing together through shared faith and purpose

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Mission
• 0:59 Switzerland Story And Family Context
• 2:06 The Core Idea: Stop Fixing Her
• 3:21 Principle 1: Listen Actively
• 6:36 Handling Anger And Earning Influence
• 8:17 Principle 2: Show Consistent Appreciation
• 12:04 Principle 3: Be Reliable And Trustworthy
• 15:14 Principle 4: Champion Her Dreams
• 18:06 Grow Together With Shared Faith
• 19:12 Courses, Coaching, And Prayer
• 21:20 Holy Week Devotionals And Sign-Off
• 23:26 Vision, Fatherhood Academy, And Donation Appeal

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

What kind of father do you want to be? What kind of man do you want to become for your family and for yourself? If you've ever wondered how to step into the fullness of your role as a father, husband, and man of God, then you're in the right place. Here at the Father Difference, our mission is to inspire and equip men to be the best fathers they can be. It's a powerful mission. And today, we're going to explore exactly how you can take steps toward that calling. Whether you're a father, a son, a husband, grandfather, single dad, stepfather, or just looking to grow, I believe God has something powerful for you in today's message. Whether you're tuning in live or watching this later, we are so excited to have you here. If this is what you're looking for, then subscribe so you can tune in each week to the Father Difference Live. You can sign up below. And now your host, a husband, father, grandfather, author, and former NFL player, Pastor Ed McGlass.

SPEAKER_01: 1:17

I am broadcasting from High in the Mountains of Switzerland. I'm here seeing Mary, my beloved daughter and Tim, her husband, my five grandkids. It's been an epic, uh, wonderful time. They took me up, took us up to a little tiny grotto restaurant high in the mountains, just over hanging a gigantic cavern, a little Italian restaurant with a chef that was my size, and he cooked us an unbelievable meal. And uh so grateful to that. And today, tonight, it's actually nighttime here. It's um late in the night in Switzerland and broadcasting to you. I want to talk to you about uh the whole subject of becoming the man you can't resist. How many want to be that guy? I know I do. I don't like being in trouble. And one of the things that probably one of the most important steps to take in really reinvigorating your passion with your wife and and her heart is number one, you gotta be willing to let go of trying to improve your wife. Repeat after me, I can't change the woman that I love, no matter how smart I think I am. And as a matter of fact, I have nine granddaughters who at some point in our early relationship has said to me directly, you are not the boss of me. Taught me so much about the heart of a girl and the heart of my wife. And so part of being a loving husband, becoming the kind of husband she can resist is letting go of your attempts to try to improve your wife's life through your perfect plan for her. You know what I mean? Ever get stuck in doing that. I'm gonna share with you five quick things to just think about. Because maybe I'm the only one who makes this mistake, but I'm always trying to help my my wife, help my grandkids, help my daughters. And I've learned one thing that if if I don't have permission into their heart to help with an answer, then that answer most often will cause them to be hurt by me. You ever make that mistake and promise you never do it again, and you're irresistible because you're a guy and you want to help the situation? Well, let me tell you, it doesn't work. Trust me, from a grandpa and a husband of many, many moons, it doesn't work. Okay, let's get right into it. So, number one, how can I become the man she can resist? Because I want my wife to not spend all of her time working on me, and one of the ways of doing that is to not work on her. Somebody say amen. See, you guys are tuning in from all over the country and outside the country. I'm so grateful that you're watching tonight. And I'm praying for you in your marriage because there's probably nothing more important right now than for men like us to love the woman that God's given us in such a way that it opens her heart to not only respond to us, but to be the wife that we really uh always wanted to have. We we gotta have a plate for that. So, how to become the man she can resist. Now, on the onset, I want to say that it's not it's not about you becoming more sexy or more fit. Well, that has a benefit mostly to you looking at yourself in the mirror. But what she wants to know is what's deep in your heart and what you really think about her. And so here's number one you want to open her heart, listen actively. And what that means is you gotta truly hear her words, her emotions, her needs without interrupting or assuming. And the only way I can stay in this place, I have to stay in this place of asking, how can I support you today? How can I because if I do that and I ask her that, it shows her val that I value her perspective, which is way more important to her than you just being romantic. And romance is a big part of it. These are like the precursors to setting the stage for a romance for a lifetime. How can I support you today? And then to show her that you value her perspective and and do what she says, and you get these regular check-ins which helped what build trust and understanding. Well, here's a verse here says, My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and maybe slower to become angry. And yet I was with a young dad today here in Switzerland, and and he was like, Man, how can I stop being so angry at at my kids and my wife? And I said, What makes you angry? He says, Well, they they don't always do what I tell them. Well, you know, you gotta you gotta earn the right of of telling them things by loving them in such a way that they they really believe in the core of their own heart that you think they're smart enough to live the life that they have. So you don't just need to be the rescuer all the time. Our job is to be in that place where we help them discover the best truths to live by, and then we support them like it was their idea. How do I know that works? Well, that's exactly what my wife does to me. And it works. And see, when I'm listening and I'm patiently reflecting God's call, right, to to understand her, to strengthen her, that really changes everything in our relationship. So we listen actively. Here's another one show consistent appreciation. How demanding are you with your your wife? And think about just for a moment the early days when you were dating. How much time did you point out what was broken in her life? Or did you do what we all do really well when we're trying to catch somebody, and that is to constantly appreciating them, just pointing out everything that you love about them, not just for her actions, but for who she is. You're you're just saying, I admire this about you, and little small gestures like a heartfelt note. You know, notes are have been a powerful tool in my family with all my daughters and my granddaughters, and especially my wife, and I write and put into words the things that I really love and appreciate about her, and then I put it on her mirror or leave a note behind. Those things are just they're golden for connecting. See, romance with a girl happens when her heart is opened by our pursuit, and the more we pursue them and they feel that this guy gets me, the more we become the man of her dreams, and it makes her feel cherished and she feels appreciated. Because think about the way your wife was raised, and you know, you probably have a wife like I did, where you know, in her early days of being a girl, her dad didn't quite know how to appreciate her and love her and uh and appropriately uh show her affection, so her sense of confidence comes out of that moment. See, I never knew in the early days that the way I love my daughters would affect the way they see the first man of their story. And uh and so that's a paraphern for your daughters and for your your wife. As a matter of fact, if you got a wayward daughter right now, how are you showing uh affection and appreciation for her? Or are you waiting until she obeys? Well, I gotta tell you, until you get her heart, you won't have her mind. Gotta win her heart first. Here's the next slide. And so here's a verse in Ephesians that says, Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth. How many have said some things to your wife or to your daughters that you wish you could get back in there? But only what is helpful for building others up according to their deeds, that they may benefit those who listen. You know, I've learned something that's you know, yeah, you learn that lesson like 50 times, and then you finally get it. And that is I can only really do with my wife and my children those things that God is already doing in their hearts. See, that's the difference between a religious system where we obey a set of rules to get in, and Christianity in its truest form, where Jesus did the work for us. And the more we declare that we can't do it without him, and the more we receive from him, the more we become like him. Powerful, powerful lesson. And so when we're we honor them with our words and we celebrate the things that we see, it's the same way that happens to us when we connect to the Lord. Here's number three be reliable and trustworthy. This might seem like a given, but keep your promises from the small tasks to the big ones. You know, consistency creates this security emotionally around the people in your life. If if you're it's like this, how many of you have ever been next to a train that's coming by and there's a train track and you see a train that you want to get close? Why? Well, you know that that train's on a track. It's consistent, it's reliable. And if the can somebody said the train is flown off the track and it's going in a million directions, what are you going to do? Well, you're going to run for your life. Well, that's the same way when we don't build these solid emotional tracks in the life of our kids. They don't want to get close to us because we're unpredictable. And so being reliable and trustworthy is like a train. And it's coming, but you stand close because you know you're not going to get hit because it's going to stay on the track. That's what consistency does. And the best thing you can do is you promise something, keep it, even from small tasks to commitments. Consistency creates that emotional security for your kids and your wife. If you falter, here's the great one. If you break, you blow it, you apologize, ask for forgiveness, be sincere about it, and make it right. And you know, over and over again, I I've blown it, and then I said, forgive me for this. And then you sort of make it up. And it's it's a powerful lesson. And your daughters will do will respond to you this way, and your wife will. It's never too late to do that. See, simply, simply let your yes be yes, the Bible says, and your no be no. Anything beyond that comes from the evil one. And you've met people all the time who go, Yeah, man, I'll do this thing. Never do it. Well, we got to be that person. So when you say yes, you're creating this foundation of trust in your family. And the more you follow through on your yeses, the more the heart of your wife will open and you will become the man of her dreams. See, being dependable mirrors God's faithfulness, fostering a safe and reliable marriage. And that is so true. And finally, you want I just want to encourage you to support her dreams, champion her goals, whether they are about a career, hobbies, personal growth, you know, help practically give her time, do some chores for her emotionally. And so I want to encourage you to do a a little exercise and and go on a dream date. And you know, take your wife out somewhere that that you both love and sit on the same side of the booth. I remember when we first did this, we were at Ruth Christ, and I said, Hey, let's do a dream date. She goes, What's that? I said, Let's talk about where we want to be together as a couple in five years, ten years, twenty years. And so immediately we started to to share about our dreams and goals. And and Jill in the beginning started talking about some of the things she wished that I would change. And I looked at her and I said, Can we just talk about dreams? Because we're we go out all the time and talk about what's broken, but we don't talk enough about what we love about each other. And she goes, Well, you first. And so I I talked about five years, ten years, twenty years, and she just leaned in, sat closer. And and then when she shared, I learned all these things about my wife, about her dreams that I never really knew. So, what are the dreams of your wife? I mean, think about the places she wants to go, the things she wants to have, the children, relationship with her kids. So many girls, you they get all in with their husband, and our life in our marriage becomes about making a living, surviving, staying together, but we don't flourish because we don't build our dream into our marriages. I can't tell you how many times I've begun to coach couples and spouses will say, Well, I had to give up my dream to be married to you. Wow, what a what a painful thing to hear. And so there there wasn't a lot of conversation. So I said, Well, why don't we you guys start talking about where you want to be in five, ten, twenty years together? Well, it's not here. And once we began to talk about it with this exercise, the the wives began to just starting to be unlocked, and and the husband began to listen and hear, and a couple of times the husband came to me, you know, the next day and called me up and said, you know, I know more about my wife today than I did 15 year old years ago when I got married. Thank you so much for that exercise. And so what it's all about is talking about your dream, and everything goes. And and because if you don't nurture where you think you're going together and support one another, then you're gonna end up just surviving being a couple. It's not enough. God wants you to serve not only survive of being a couple, but to have a romance over a lifetime. And kind of finally, and not last last but not least, is I want to just encourage you to is to just uh what Ecclesiastes says, you know, stay committed to growing together. You know, through though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. The cord of three strands is not quickly broken. And a marriage rooted in a shared purpose and faith grows stronger with God's strength. And I'm gonna tell you, my wife is the mama bear that protects me more than any other person in my life. And I'm so grateful for her because I couldn't do what God's given me to do without her, and she can't do what God's given her to do without me in her life. And when we come together and we're rooted in that shared purpose, we get stronger together and love one another in ways that we never thought we we could. And so the next step is that if you've not uh discovered my series, How to Become the Husband and Father Your Family Needs, you can go to our website right now and you can check it out. And I'd love for you to learn about what we're doing, and because we we've uh built this fatherhood academy that really is designed to help every single man, and we have many wives involved in these courses as well, who are live coaching or podcasts and more to really help you become everything that God has made you to be. And I'm so grateful that uh you're you're here tonight and on April the the 15th, and and I can t I can tell you that uh one of the greatest joys of my life is being able to share with you and coach and be a part of your stories. But at the same time, what even a greater joy for me is having a wife who still loves me, adores me, and wants to hang out with me. It can happen. And you would especially say men after watching me in my early days of trying to be a husband. I had no clue. But the good news is if your heart gets connected to Jesus, his father will teach you how to be the husband you need to be and the father you need to be. And what a grand thing that's all about. So before we get off tonight, I want to pray with you. If you send in your prayer requests, you can send them in to me at the fatherdifference.com, our website, and uh would love to respond to you. We could even set up a coaching time and uh to help you in your story. But before we get off, I want to pray with you tonight. God, I'm just so grateful for my brothers that are watching. I'm thankful for them, Lord, and I know that of n a number of you are in the biggest challenge of your life with your wife and your family. And you wanna you want it to be different. And so, Lord, I pray that you would um open their hearts tonight, that you speak deeply into them and show them that the more that they are fathered by you, the more impact you're gonna make with their wives and their children and their grandchildren one day. Lord, I'm so grateful that uh you took this broken football player and taught him how to be a husband. And he taught me how to be a father and a and uh now a grandfather. And I pray for every family there that's watching, and I pray you would do something profound in them, Lord, just like you have done for me and thousands of others have gone through our courses, and that they have encountered you in in a brand new way and have changed away their fathers, and a change away their husbands, and they've recaptured the heart of their wife and become the man of their dreams, and they become the father that their kids brag to their friends about. And I pray you would bless them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in Jesus' name. Amen. So great to be with you. It's Holy Week. You'll get some special devotionals from me. If you've not already signed up, you can sign up for that as well every day. I have a free devotion. You can go to our website, and uh and and we're going through Holy Week and all these amazing things that Jesus did on the cross. Would love to send that to you as well. And all that to say, I have a little outro video to play, but I'm so grateful that you're here. And so this is Ed McGlassen signing off from high in the mountains in Switzerland. Rained the last two days, and so grateful to be here with my grandkids and uh love them so much. God bless you.

SPEAKER_00: 23:26

Dear friends, imagine a world where every father feels equipped to lead with faith, love, and purpose. A world where families thrive and communities grow stronger because of devoted, Christ-centered fathers.

SPEAKER_01: 23:41

You know, beloved, that is the vision that God's put in my heart for every single family. You know, he is on the move, I believe. He promises in Malachi that before the great and coming day of the Lord, he's gonna do something profound. He's gonna turn the hearts of fathers back towards their children. So the hearts of their children will turn back to their father. That's what God is doing. I mean dads daily who want to learn to be better fathers. Yet many have never been shown how. Too many families are being fractured to bitterness and with parents and grandparents even being canceled. That's why we're launching an online community to quit and to be the fathers that God is called to be. It's more than a program, it's a part of a movement that God is already doing to reshape fatherhood. It's a sacred calling rooted in the teachings of pride. And we're calling this the Fatherhood Academy, where men will embark on a journey of healing and spiritual restoration that helps them transform their family relationship. And to make this vision a reality, would you consider partnering with us financially if we continue to reach and disciple every man, dad, and grandpa that comes our way? Your donation will help create a ripple across the neighborhoods, communities, you know, not familiar nature, anchoring each job, your division in the unwavering love and guidance of a devoted dad.

SPEAKER_00: 25:31

Will you partner with us? Your gift, whether a one-time donation or ongoing monthly support, will help to transform lives. Together, we can equip fathers and grandfathers to lead with faith and create a brighter, hopeful future for generations to come. Click the link to donate today. Thank you for believing in this mission and joining us on this transformative journey.