Redefining Dad With Faith, Grace, And Grit

What if the guilt you feel as a dad isn’t a verdict, but a message pointing you back to what matters most? We open with a hard truth many men carry—missing moments, long hours, and the quiet fear of not measuring up—and then move toward a better promise: God’s strength shows up right where ours runs out. Using 2 Corinthians 12:9 as our anchor, we explore how admitting “I can’t” becomes the starting line for real change at home.

• Redefining dad from guilt to greatness
• Grace made perfect in weakness
• Abraham’s calling before capacity
• Practical steps to begin again

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Chapters

• 0:00 Mission And Welcome
• 1:39 Series Setup: Redefining Dad
• 2:56 Naming Dad Guilt And Pressure
• 4:08 Grace In Weakness: 2 Corinthians 12:9
• 7:05 From Signal To Growth: Guilt Reframed
• 8:48 Devotional: The Father’s Forge
• 10:35 Abraham’s Calling And Capacity
• 13:06 Daring To Trust God Like Abraham
• 16:00 God Fathers Fathers
• 18:05 Stories From Switzerland And Impact
• 21:05 It’s Never Too Late To Begin
• 22:36 Daily Practice: Scripture And Journaling
• 25:20 Prayer And Blessing For Fathers
• 26:35 Community And Next Steps
• 27:46 Vision And Invitation: Fatherhood Academy
• 29:12 Donate And Join The Movement

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

What kind of father do you want to be? What kind of man do you want to become for your family and for yourself? If you've ever wondered how to step into the fullness of your role as a father, husband, and man of God, then you're in the right place. Here at the Father Difference, our mission is to inspire and equip men to be the best fathers they can be. It's a powerful mission. And today, we're going to explore exactly how you can take steps toward that calling. Whether you're a father, a son, a husband, a grandfather, single dad, stepfather, or just looking to grow. I believe God has something powerful for you in today's message. Whether you're tuning in live or watching this later, we are so excited to have you here. If this is what you're looking for, let's subscribe so you can tweak each week to the Father Difference Live. You can sign up below. And now your host, a husband, father, grandfather, author, and former NFL player, Peter Ed McLass.

SPEAKER_01: 1:16

Hey there, beloved. Good to be with you. Today we're going to talk about redefining that. I just want to give a shout out to all you that are online from TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. You're all over the place. I'm so grateful that you're here. We come this week. And this week we're going to talk about redefining dad. It's going to be probably a three-part series over the next three weeks, little shorter shows. I'm actually broadcasting here on the fourth floor of my daughter's and son-in-law's home in Switzerland. It's an old barn built in the 1800s. And I'm here uh looking at the mountains, and it's pretty epic. It's kind of a tough place to be here, but we're going to talk about it anyway. And I'm really grateful that you're here. And so we're tonight, we're going to talk about redefining dads from guilt to to greatness. And, you know, I meet dads all the time that are struggling. Matter of fact, you know, we don't we don't say this out loud too much, dad guilt. That feeling when you you miss a soccer game or a or an event with your kids, or you work late, or you think you're not doing enough. You know, it's really real, according to studies that show that 60% fathers feel guilty about not spending enough time with their kids. But there's some good news. Guilt doesn't have to run the show. And that's what we're going to talk about. And and the next slide here. And so we're we're kicking off this three-part series called Redefining Dad from Guilt to Greatness. And today we're going to unpack why dad's, you know, why guilt happens. And it's not because you're just failing, it's because you care. Because if you didn't care about not being there for your kids, then the Holy Spirit's not working on you. I mean, society right now just piles on expectations for us as men to be the provider, to be the coach, right? The superhero all at once. No wonder we feel stretched in. No wonder we come home from work and your wife looks at you with that look, and your son or your daughter's just done something that needs a dad in there, and you feel guilty that you weren't there. And a lot of times that guilt will just cause you to check off. But the Bible reminds us of this incredible promise. And it's in 2 Corinthians 12, verse 9, and it says, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. What does that mean? I'm not talking about weakness, where he's not talking about the weakness of sin. The word there in the Greek is actually a word that when you realize that you don't have the strength and the gifts to be the dad you need to be. We're just going to talk about that area tonight. That God's power really is made perfect when you say, Lord, I can't do this. I need help. Matter of fact, the first step of recovery for anybody's in a recovery program is they admit I can't stop drinking or can't stop smoking this or eating that or spending this in any place where God's working in our life, the requirement for the breakthrough. Are you ready? Is admitting that you can't do it without God. Now we all know that intrinsically. Some of your biggest breakthroughs probably happened because you finally admitted that you couldn't handle it. But boy, does that pride kick in where we want to have the answer, where we want to be celebrated, where we want to do that. Because the truth is that God's grace covers where we fall short. Guilt's just a signal, not a sentence. It points to what matters to you. And if it didn't matter to you, you wouldn't even think about it. You wouldn't even feel guilty. But the Holy Spirit will stir you to step into that place and that arena is a dad where you just don't feel like you you got what it takes. And the truth of the matter is that in Christ we do. Outside of Christ, we don't. You know, we're close, we're we're we're zeroing in on 700,000 copies of The Difference a Father Makes around the world. And I've yet to have a guy read my book and say, Oh, yeah, I knew how to do everything, didn't really need to read your book. And that book is filled with this promise that God's grace is sufficient for us in our weakness. When we choose to say we don't know how to do something, or we don't have what it takes for our kids in that moment, or we come home and we're exhausted and we just we're just beyond ourselves, is when we learn to step into God's grace, it it changes things. So that that's that's the first thing to think about. And so I want to tonight I'm gonna do something just a little different in sharing this with you, is that I'm gonna read you and walk you through my devotional that I actually sent out today, and it's called The Father's Forge, How God Shapes a Dad. The story about Abraham, and it goes right along with our subject here to prove it. And so I'm gonna read this with you, and I want you to think about these words. If you don't get my devotion, you can actually get it right here from my website at thefatherdifference.com, and you can sign up and get that every single day. It's a free gift for you. Here's one of them that we're gonna walk through, and I'm I'm so grateful for all the responses that I get from people around the world. We have thousands of people who get this every single day, and I'm so grateful. And it's a devotional that helps connect you to all that you need to be a great dad. And if you're a mom, a great mom, and I see we got a few moms slipping into our time here. I'm so grateful that you're online. I got a bunch of friends there. Love you, much. Don't have time to respond to everybody, because I want to make this our time shorter than than longer, and and maybe a little bit more powerful with some application. So here is the scripture, and a Bible says that we call Abraham father not because he got God's attention by living as a saint, but because God made something out of Abraham when he was in nobody. Think about that. God was God himself, it says in the scripture, this refers to, is the one that made Abraham a father by giving him a son. When he couldn't have children, when he was too old, his wife got pregnant. And she laughed when she heard that God was gonna do this. But Abraham became a father when he was old, when he had no capacity to be a father. That is a promise for you. That's how God shapes us. When we come to that place and we don't feel like we have all the equipment we need, and we do that. The the problem with guys who think they have the equipment, and say they're raising a great family or they were raising a strong family, and and they drive their children, they can they can drive them right out of their home, and they're teaching them that they got they can just use their will to completely rule their lives, was one of the biggest lies you can possibly live in. Let's let's continue. See Abraham when he was a nobody, isn't that what we've always read in scripture? God said to Annie, I set you up as a father of many people. This is uh in Romans 4, verse 7, Abraham was first named father and then became a father because he dared. Look at those words, he dared to trust God to do what only God could do. Raise the dead to life. This is very referring to a time when God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son after he got this promise to take him to a hill and sacrifice him, and God promised him. And it was the incredible picture. I don't want to look at all that right now, but it's the picture of what happens when we dare to trust God to do what only he can do. And Abraham took his son to sacrifice him on an altar, but he knew that God could even raise him from the dead and with a word make something out of nothing. That's Romans 4, 17 in a message. You can look that up later. And so that's how God does that. God can take something that's broken or something that has no capacity and give you capacity. Abraham had a son because he didn't have a capacity to be a father, and God made him a father. It's a powerful picture. So, hey, beloved, so think let me kind of tell you something straight from the heart of that came McLassan. And I have learned this over and over and over again. God's got a wild, beautiful plan to make you a father. If you're a dad today, there is something that happens to you when you become a dad that completely changes your life. Matter of fact, the Bible says that when Enoch became a father, he walked with God for the rest of his days. See, we need God to walk with God to be the father we need to be. And so it's not about you having all the answers I write here or the perfect track record. Nope. It's about him seeing you right where you are. Maybe uh feeling like a nobody. Maybe you wondered if you if you're cut out for this dad thing. And and you're saying, you know, and God's really saying here, that's my guy. I'm gonna I'm gonna forge that man into something extraordinary. It's God that that that that is planned to in his plans, and when you become a father, he does something to you as a father. And the way you father through your children and learn mistakes and all, he's forging something inside of you that he can duplicate in your sons, and that's incredibly powerful. And as a grandpa, there's nothing as powerful to me than it's a father having the heart of my children and them watching how they raise their children. Using even some of the same things that I've said out of my mouth. The good things, maybe some of the bad too. Think about Abraham for a minute. He's been reading his devotional from today. He was picked because he had he wasn't picked because he had a wall full of father of the year trophies, right? For plaque. God chose him when he was old, creaky and childless, childless, with a wife who laughed out loud at the promise of a baby. Laughed yet God called him a father before he held his son. So the capacity for him to be a dad happened at the word of God to him. Why? Because God's not in the business of waiting for us to get it together before he blesses us. He blesses us first, and in that process, his grace helps us get it together. He's in the business of taking our nothing and making it something, something eternal, something that that echoes through generations. I mean, one of the most profound things to me is you know, when I came here to Switzerland, my my daughter and my son, son-in-law have been talking about me to their church, and and all I had a men's group uh a week ago up in the mountains on the side of a mountain. It was incredible. And they wanted me to talk for about 20 minutes, and two and a half hours later, I was still talking. It was incredible. And I I I discovered they all had written written bad my book. They had all these questions and they all had this hope that maybe one day they could be a father different than the dad that raised them. And I had a blessing time with them and I prayed for them. I'm just so honored to to see how God has taken this message that he he put inside of me for Edna Blassen where I was weak and and then became strong in him. It was him that did this for me, it wasn't me and my ideas. And now just sharing that story with these guys, just the hope they had and just the tears that they they they live in a culture here where fathers don't express emotion very much at all, and uh don't don't praise their children. And and it and so to for them to begin to hear that in scripture from God Himself into their lives, it's just transforming for you, for me. Why? Because see, God God's not in the business, I'm gonna read this again, of waiting for us to get it get uh get it together. He's in the business of taking our nothing and making it something, not something eternal, something that echoes through generations. You're becoming a good present father, or if you're a mom watching this, will echo into your children and your grandchildren one day. Know what you want? Know what you want from your children and your grandkids. It's never too late to be the father that your kids need you to be. Or the grandpa. I know a lot of grandpas who are fathering their grandchildren because they kind of blew it themselves in their own story with their kids, and they're trying to repair that. We do a lot of coaching around that. If that's something you want us some coaching, our our team is the best and would love for you to check out the Fatherhood Academy. And I'll share with that at the end. So I love how Abraham's story gets gritty after his son Isaac arrived. God didn't hand him a playbook for easy parenting. Right? He had to receive it every day. I gotta learn to be a grandpa every day. I gotta learn to be a father with my kids every day. Because when you start out and you don't rest on the lores of yesterday, and you just say, God, I need a fresh dose of fathering today for me, so that I can be the father I need to be. Boy, you'll have all the grace you need. He asked Abraham to climb a mountain and lay his boy on an altar. Can you imagine the weight of that? But Abraham trusted God so deeply he believed even death couldn't stop God's promise. God's promises are sure. That's the kind of faith that turns a man into a father. Not just one of nations. Think about that, beloved. So here's the deal. Kind of tie this together. I am a little distracted looking at these extraordinary mountains out here. You don't become a great dad by muscling through on your own. If you're muscling on your own, you're gonna teach your sons that and they're not gonna turn into great men, they're gonna turn into monsters. I played football with a lot of guys who just it was all about their personal power. God's made us for him and for his power. And so when you're not trying to muscle it on your own, you you become the kind of dad by letting God father you. When you let God the father love you and father you, it will change your story. It's kind of the core message in my own life, in my own family, is that when you let God make the father make a difference in you and father you, you're gonna make a difference in the life of your sons and your daughters and your grandkids and your marriage. See, his love, his voice, is strength. That's what will shape you into the man your kids needs. You need God's love in you, you need God's voice to you, and you need God's strength to be the father you need to be. So today I want you to take a step with me. Uh grab your Bible, you know, dog, ear or digital, doesn't matter, and open it up. And this is what I want you to say every day and grab your journal with you because we're moving from this place of guilt to this place of learning how to be father by God. And I want you to say this every morning, God speak to me, show me who you're making me to be. God, speak to me and show me who you're making me to be. Let those words sink in like a blacksmith's hammer shaping iron. That's where that transformation happens, is when you begin to talk to God as your father, because he is your father. I remember that first moment after you know, I discovered the blessing of the father for Ed, and grabbing my Bible, my journal, my favorite latte, and started reading scripture, and when something popped out, I would write the scripture down and talk and just write down what what I thought God was saying to me in the scripture. And then at the end, at every one of my devotional times, I would have a question where I thought, well, if you're my father now, I need to talk to you because I could never talk to my stepdad, and I couldn't talk to my birth father because he was killed in action. So I need a father. Would you speak to me? And man, I gotta tell you, when that happened in my life, it completely transformed me. And he started to speak to me. And I'm not he wasn't audibly speaking to me, and like some boys, hey, like my Ein Einstein hair, that's what my granddaughters call it. But he would take that scripture and and give me an impression, or he would whisper something deep in my heart, and from that place of feeling his love and his presence and his life, that filled me up for what I needed for that day to father my kids, or father my grandkids. And it's a profound thing when that happens. It's profound. The more you let God father you, the more equipment you're gonna have to father your kids. And that's what I got for you. We got you know, part two of this is coming up, and can't wait to share that with you. And uh, God's forge is ready, my friend. You gotta go for it. He's calling you by name. And I would love if you sent me an email and said, I I asked that question of God this morning, and just go and send me an email and connect connect with me. You can send us into my website if you go to the thefatherdifference.com, uh, you can send me an email, and I'd love to hear from you about how you're applying this uh in your own life. I'm looking right here, I don't see that the email address. So you just go to edcandy at the fatherdifference.com and you can get me. So before I get off, I want to pray for you. I think one of the greatest news of this message tonight for me is that no matter how much I blow it, God the Father said, I'm ready to do what I need to have done. And his mercies are new every morning. And so maybe you've blown it as the dad and you need a new beginning. Well, I'm gonna pray for you. Maybe your kids aren't talking to you. I'm gonna pray for that as well. So, Father, I pray for my friends that are watching, and I pray that your Holy Spirit would touch them and fill them and be with them. I ask you to bless them with your blessing. I pray, Lord, that you would give them the courage to grab a journal and their favorite beverage tomorrow morning and just ask that question. God, speak to me. Show me who you've called me to be and give me words for those that I love, give me words for my kids today, give me grace for my kids today. Father, I pray you would open your word to them and make it powerful, and they'd fill their heart with treasure every single day to be the father they need to be. And so, Lord, I pray you'd bless them. I pray you'd make them hungry for your word. I pray you would multiply them and use them in the name of Jesus. Bless my brother, bless my sisters that are watching, and equip them in Jesus' name. Amen. So grateful you're here, connecting, share this with a friend, and I'm gonna be back online live on Thursday with the gals, different the mother makes, and uh, it's a great Thursday night live that we have uh for gals. And uh, if you've if didn't know about that, you can we do this every Thursday at 12 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, USA Time. And so we're gonna be recording that show here on Thursday for the gals in your life. Share that with your wife, and that'd be awesome. All right, bless you, my friend. And so before I get off here, there's a little outro about our Fatherhood Academy, and would love for you to consider joining and become a part of that. And we'll see you next week. God bless.

SPEAKER_00: 26:46

Dear friends, imagine a world where every father feels equipped to lead with faith, love, and purpose. A world where families thrive and communities grow stronger because of devoted, Christ-centered fathers.

SPEAKER_01: 27:00

You know, beloved, that is the vision that God's put in my heart for every single family. You know, he is on the move, I believe. He promises in Malachi that before the great coming day of the Lord, he's gonna do something profound. He's gonna turn the hearts of fathers back towards their children. So the hearts of their children will turn back to their father. That's what God is doing. I mean dads daily who want to learn to be better fathers. Yet many have never been shown how. Too many families are being fractured to bitterness, and with parents and grandparents even being killed. That's why we're launching an online community to quit and to be the fathers that God is called to be. It's more than a program, it's a part of a movement that God is already doing to reshape fatherhood. It's a sacred calling rooted in the teachings of Christ. And we're calling this the Fatherhood Academy, where men will embark on a journey of healing and spiritual restoration to help them transform their family relationship. And to make this vision a reality, would you consider partnering with us financially if we continue to reach and disciple every man dad and grandfather comes away? Your donations will help create a ripple that cost the neighborhoods, communities, in an ultimately our native.

SPEAKER_00: 28:53

Your gift, whether a one-time donation, or ongoing funding support, will help to transform lives. Together, we can equip fathers and grandfathers to lead with faith and create a brighter, hopeful future for generations to come. Click the link to donate today. Thank you for believing in this mission and joining us on this transformative journey.