The Father Difference

Forgotten No More

Ed Tandy McGlasson

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What if the next sentence you speak to your child could rewrite years of silence? 

I walk through four anchors for any dad who feels forgotten. First, it’s not too late to step back into your children’s lives, even if anger or distance stands in the way. Second, your blessing still matters; a father’s voice can call out design, not just describe behavior. Third, words either imprison or unlock destiny, so we trade chronic sarcasm for a practice of specific, consistent affirmation. Finally, we receive identity before we give it—like Jacob becoming Israel and renaming Ben-Oni to Benjamin—so our blessing springs from a deeper source than willpower.

You’ll hear practical ways to repair trust. We talk about shifting the family culture—from teasing to training, from criticism to coaching—and how short, daily blessings plant courage. If your own father never blessed you, I'll guide you to a prayer to receive that identity from God so you can pass it on with integrity.


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SPEAKER_00:

What kind of father do you want to be? What kind of man do you want to become for your family and for yourself? If you've ever wondered how to step into the fullness of your role as a father, husband, and man of God, then you're in the right place. Here at the Father Difference, our mission is to inspire and equip men to be the best fathers they can be. It's a powerful mission. And today, we're going to explore exactly how you can take steps toward that calling. Whether you're a father, a son, a husband, grandfather, single dad, stepfather, or just looking to grow, I believe God has something powerful for you in today's message. Whether you're tuning in live or watching this later, we are so excited to have you here. If this is what you're looking for, then subscribe so you can tune in each week to the Father Difference Live. You can sign up below. And now your host, a husband, father, grandfather, author, and former NFL player, After Ed McGlass.

SPEAKER_01:

There would love for you to check in on the comments. Let me know what's going on, where you're coming from. And trying to get here we go, Instagram finally kicked in and all the other platforms. Welcome, Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, Xmark the Spot where the real treasure is. Thank you, Elon Musk, very much. Instagram and Rumble for all my friends out there in Rumble. So great to be with you. I'm your host, Ed Tane McLean, and today we're going to talk about fatherhood. We're going to start a series here that's coming up that's all about father. And I am officially, you know, it's not a national holiday yet, but uh I'm officially announcing that the month of June is a month of fatherhood. We're gonna celebrate dads, all kinds of dads. Single dads, regular dads, granddads, grandpops, opas, if you are like me with my grandkids in in Europe, uh, which is German or Swiss for grandpa. We're gonna celebrate dads because you matter. And I I'm I'm grateful that the the president is uh renaming this month to some other things. We're also honoring the veterans, which are in a real sense of fathers in their own right in our country, in all their sacrifice. We just had Memorial Day. If you didn't get my posts about my dad and and my grandfather, you can we'll make sure we get that to you. But uh, I'm so grateful to be with you and talk to you about this incredible privilege that we have of being a father. And to and tonight we're gonna talk about just the you know for every one of the of you dads out there who feels overlooked or maybe forgotten out there. And uh welcome Dr. Dave and good to see you, Rick, and and people are starting to chime in now. Uh we get some rumble people, and tonight uh we're gonna talk about to the father who feels forgotten. And uh, I got to let you know, we have not forgotten you, God has not forgotten you. As a matter of fact, in the in the priority of God's kingdom, is there is nothing more powerful than the role of what a father can do in the life of his children, the life of his family, the way he loves mama, and the way he loves his kids. And we're going to talk about just the four things that happen that's incredibly powerful just to encourage you that you're not forgotten and that your role really does matter. Really does matter. If you got comments or questions, would love for you to uh send those to me tonight. And uh so let's get right into what we're gonna talk about. And tonight we're gonna talk about to the father who feels forgotten. Well, you know, I meet dads all the time. I meet dads who think that they will never matter, that they've loaned it. It's it's too far gone. And I want to start out just with a story, a short story that happened when I wrote in my book, The Difference the Father Makes, and a young dad got it. Actually, a dad got it. Here's the the book right here. If you've not read this, you can still get copies of this. We download it also for free as a gift, and uh, it's one of our banners right there. If you want to get this book, but we had a dad uh get this book, and uh and he wrote me a letter and told me that it's been years since he is talking to his daughter. He had gotten divorced, and it had been many years. The last time he was around her life, she was somewhere around 13 years old. But the ex-wife cut that dad off, thinking that she was protecting maybe her children or her daughter at the time. And yet the bitterness so many times in divorce, it's very easy for you to cut out one of the most important people in the life of your children. And and you gotta have both a mom and a dad both have incredibly powerful roles in the life and the development of a child. Well, this mom cuts him out, and he reads my book, and he says in his in his letter, in his email to me, I've been crying for days. I I I can't put it down. And is it ever too late for me to be a dad in my daughter's story? So immediately I I call up his number. He was in Texas, his children were back in Ohio, and he said, Is is it ever too late? And so I I began to uh I encouraged him. He said, I've written for years, and my daughter has never responded to a single letter. I said, just write one more. And I'm we're gonna pray together and we're gonna ask that your daughter would would read that letter. Well, he sends a letter off, he's from Texas, goes to Ohio, and about a week later, he gets a phone call out of the blue. Guess from who? His daughter. And she says, Is is this my dad? And he he was just, can you imagine that moment? Haven't talked to your daughter in many, many years. And he goes, uh yes it is. He says, I would like to meet with you, she said, because I have a question to ask you. And so they agree to meet, he flies up to Ohio where she's living, and they agree to meet at uh at a public restaurant. And so he gets her early, as you can imagine. Imagine sitting in a booth, and you haven't seen your daughter in in many years. You don't know really what she looks like. The only pictures you have are when she was a little girl, and then all of a sudden comes a girl who's already probably pre-crying as she's entering the restaurant. She sees her dad across the room and off she walks over, sits down in a booth. Remember him telling me this story on the phone, was with so many tears in his eyes. I I couldn't see his eyes actually in his voice. And his daughter said to him, Daddy, before you say anything, I want to ask you a question. He said, What's that? Was I that ugly? What? he said. Dad, I couldn't figure out why you never hugged me, loved me, touched me, and I just figured that the real reason why you divorced mom was that I was ugly. You didn't want to be with me anymore. Can you imagine hearing those words? And he said, Oh no, sweetheart, I that's not what happened. You see, your dad was really broken back then. Matter of fact, your dad had a pornography issue really bad, and uh and I was so afraid it might affect you that I stayed away and I am so sorry. Would you forgive me for not being there, loving you, touching you, hugging you? And he told me that she leapt across the booth in the diner they were in, and just hugged his neck, crying out, Daddy, Daddy, I've waited so long to be with you after all these years. And they talk and they catch up as much as they can, and she says, Would you follow me to my home? I have a gift for you. And off they go, and just imagine it's the moment for this dad. And she pulls in the back of the house, he goes into the front, it's a gravel driveway, he said, and he walks in, and there's a screen door on the front. And as he's walking up the steps of this older kind of Elizabethan style house, he hears from his daughter, he's here, and out from the back of the house are two grandchildren running and screaming, Papa, Papa, to the grandfather they never met. Imagine that moment. Incredible moment where his daughter had spent a lifetime in this lie in a question that the devil does so many times to isolate and to get your children, dad, away from you. And this story is dramatic and incredibly powerful, but it it gives us a clue of the truth of the power of a father in the life of a child. Even though there was divorce and there was separation and there was hurt and all these things, it's never too late for God to restore children to a father. That's one of the most that's one of the most amazing things that I get to experience, you know, every month at the Father Difference Ministry here is watching families reunited, watching dads learn things and develop and become part of our fatherhood academy and begin to learn how to really be the father that maybe they never had in their own story. So I'm going to talk to you just about four things, you know, that there are there. There are many more, but just four tonight for the sake of our time together. To uh be a blessing to you. And so to the father who feels forgotten, here's number one no matter how bad you think you've blown it as a dad, it's never too late for you to be part of your children's life. And see, the reason why that is is because you carry something, Dad. You might not feel it, you might think you have completely blown it. But you carry something inside of you. You carry an authority, you you carry this voice, you carry this incredible power inside of you and authority from God to help your children discover who God's made your kids to be. And they're always looking at you. I I remember when my sons were would do things to drive my wife crazy, they would always be looking towards me. To wonder what I thought. Whether it's a baseball game or a football game or a golf match. Even to this day, my oldest son Ed, I can tell he's he does something, he's looking towards me. What does my dad think? It's because we we carry this incredible privilege. We're the, you know, whether we have lived a great life or not, we're the first image to our children, someone once wrote years ago of who God the Father is. That that authority, that that that person that carries this anointing, if you want to use that word, this this gift to be able to help their children discover who they are. And when you use it well, it it unlocks your children to who God's called them to be. When you do it bad, it can really wound them. But here's the good news no matter how good or bad you did it, it's never too late to repair those things, even if your children don't want anything to do with you. You know, with all the craziness in the culture and all of the psychology that's kind of dripped in and now taking over parts of the church, there's good part of just of counseling and wisdom and and human understanding and psychology, but without the power of God and without the with the structure of what a family is supposed to be, our children are going to forever wonder about who they are and what they've been made for. That's why you matter. That's why your job is never really done. See, I've watched thousands of fathers, you know, become part of their kids' lives again. It's one of the most amazing things. I had an event this past weekend with a dad that uh I was able to give a word to. And we had many men get saved at this event, and about three-quarters of the room came forward for the blessing of the father. Because they were raised in a home when the dad never had a model from his own father about how to bless his children, how to speak life into his children. When you see that in a group of men, I was with Frank Suntag, amazing godly man. And we're going to start posting some of that event online. So be watching for it. And also Vince Evans, you know, the great USC quarterback Vince Evans, who shared this amazing testimony about how he came to know Jesus playing for the Raiders. Can you imagine playing for the Raiders and encountering Christ? It can happen. My best friend Brian Holloway, who you're going to hear from more in the future. Him and I are talking about a project to do together. He has been my best friend since we've been in high school. And even though your kids in this slide here, even though your kids maybe even being raised by great stepdads out there, your children will never have another birth father like you. You still carry God's authority in your life, even if you've not been a good dad. So don't quit. Get in there. They need you in their life. You might be saying, yeah, but yeah, my kids are really angry. I totally get that. I absolutely totally get that. And I've you know been coaching men long enough to know how easily and quickly we cut ourselves out of the story because we think we're not good for our kids. But, you know, a present dad is way more powerful than no dad at all. No dad at all. Number two, your kids still need your blessing in their life. So you carry almost like a prophetic gift in the way you can speak life or death into your kids. And your kids might even have said to you, you're dead to me, or I don't need you in my life. I've had young people say that to their dads and then get with them and meet with them. And, you know, I remember this young man that was just so angry with his father, could not understand why he was so brutal until he discovered that his own father went through the same story and began to understand that his dad gave him what he had, even though it wasn't much. And he and he he learned how to forgive his dad and ended up taking my book, The Difference a Father Makes, the one I talked to you about earlier. Taking this book to his father and them reading this together. And somehow in the midst of his son you know coming back and uh blessing his father, it began to restore their relationship, and that dad encountered Jesus for himself before he went to heaven. What a powerful thing. I call that operation bless up when a son takes the blessing that he's received from God the Father for himself to his dad, whose dad never gave it to him. Because behind every broken dad is a father who's didn't know how to be a good dad. Or there's sometimes as a son you just didn't want what your dad had, and you just figured you're just gonna do your life on your own. And guess what? That doesn't end well, does it? So, number two, your kids still need your blessing. Number three, no, before we get to number three, so see, what your kids don't understand is that you, as their father, carry an authority given to you by God to be their father and to bless them. And I love this scripture here, this promise in First Peter and the message. And it's talking about how we should use our voice, especially as a father. And he says, that goes for all of you, no exceptions, no retaliation, no sharp tongue criticism or tongue sarcasm. Instead, bless, that's your job to bless, and you'll be a blessing, but also get a blessing. There's something that happens that, you know, God speaking through Peter that happens in our life when we move from maybe, you know, the family pattern of sort of making fun of one another and and teasing one another to really speaking life into one another and to really blessing them. I mean, I I carried into my family as a dad kind of the locker room making fun of one another when they come in. That's kind of the what happens in an NFL locker room, guys are sitting there, and if somebody woke up late or their hair is is going the wrong way, and or it looks worse for the wear because of a crazy night after a game, walks into the locker room. Oh boy, people are just teeing off on them. And I I got to experience that too. And you know, it's it being teased, making fun of is never a powerful thing. It it's a powerful thing to to push you down. But think about some of your ways that you speak to your children, even in jesting, and when you're making fun, they really feel as though there's places that that you don't love about them. And it's very hurtful. I did it to my kids, and I had to I had to own it, and I had to ask for forgiveness. And boy, that was a powerful day in my family when I realized that my tongue has uh what the Bible says has great power to give life or start a fire. You know, even James, you know, the the brother of Jesus said, if you can you can control what comes out of your mouth, what you say, you can keep yourself from sinning. Man, isn't that true? Imagine if that criteria was put on the media today. People don't understand that this this little thing called a tongue has great power to bless sort of curse. And so it's much better to bless. Number three, your words carry the power to either unlock their your kids' destiny or imprison them like many of you have been imprisoned by words. And you know, I I used to in doing men's events uh ask questions of the guys that were coming. And uh and I would and I would say, you know, what was the name that your dad most called you when you were a young man? What was that word? What was that name? And more often than not, the name was really derogatory, or it was very demeaning and almost a curse word at times because of the disgust of the father that you weren't what you were supposed to be. And so those words have tremendous to tremendous power over the person that hears them. It's the same way if you noticed if you're married with your wife, when you're telling her what you love about her, and you look at her eyes and the way she reacts, it's a completely different thing compared to when you're being critical or you're you're speaking down, and so God's made us in such a way that we were actually created, we're a voice activated human beings. And the more we begin to understand, you know, about how powerful that is over our lives. And if you think about who is your your best friends in your story, who would you say they are? Well, I know the ones in my life. You know who my best friends are? Are the people who speak life into me. And it's not that they don't ever help correct me or or teach me, but those are the people that that that I love being around. Who are the people that I resist completely? And those are people who think they're smarter than me all the time, and they want to correct me all the time. Who do you spend time with? So your words carry power. So whether your kids are open to you right now or not, and we're going to talk about this next month and the month of fatherhood, how to open your kids up when they've been closed down. They still have these deep questions inside of them about who they are, what God's made them for. And guess when that question finally gets answered? Well, it gets answered by the Lord one day, but they're going to ask you over and over and over. I have all of my sons and daughters are now adults. They have families on their own, minus one who's not married yet, but they still call dad for encouragement, for words. And most of those times I am feeding back to them and helping them discover their own answers and and blessing them. And they call me. And I it's it's one of the most powerful things in my life is when my sons and daughters call me and go, hey dad, how are you doing? Let me tell you what happened today. Gosh, what a gift. Didn't start out that way. So, where's the blessing of the father found in the Bible? I'm going to share one little nugget with you, and then we're going to tie together and pray together. But I just love this story because it's so powerful. And it says that God appeared to Jacob when he came from Padran Aram and blessed him. And the way God blessed him was that he said, Your name, Jacob, your name is Jacob, no longer will be called Jacob, but Israel. So he changed his name. Well, why is that? Well, Jacob has a meaning of, watch out, hold your wallow. Jacob was a great deal maker. And God changed his name from Jacob because he had a destiny in the heart of God the Father that was way bigger than what his name could could be about. And so he changed his name to Israel, which in one of the understandings of Israel is father of many nations. So here God blesses Jacob, who's really on the lamb and hiding out from his brother, because he got blessed and his brother didn't. And Jacob was a one with the coat of many colors. And you know, you see this whole thing, that dynamic that happened in that family. And it says that as he so he called his name Israel and says to him, I am the Lord God Almighty, be fruitful and multiply. And we see that right back in the book of Genesis: a nation and a company of nations will come from you. I'm going to bless you in such a way where you're going to father many nations, and kings will come from your own body. You imagine receiving this. And this is really before he's had his first son and his wife, who's very pregnant, you know, there, you know, and he had left to go seek the Lord. And then he says, and the land that I gave to Abraham and Isaac, I'm going to give to you, and I will give you this land and also to your offspring after you. So God's blessing upon you as a father goes on to not only to you, but to your family and to the difference you're going to make in your life. That's how big the blessing of the father is on a man's life. So now he goes back to find his wife, who's, you know, was close to having a baby. Now he finds her. And as he finds her, she has died in childbirth. And he wasn't there to name that baby. And look what the Bible says. And as her soul was dying, for she was dying, as her soul was departing, I mean, and she was dying, she then names this boy, because she didn't want her son she had just given birth to to not have an identity or a name. She named him Benomi, Ben Oni. And in Hebrew, Ben Oni means son of my sorrow. And but I gotta tell you, if there's one thing I've seen around the world, is I see sons of sorrow everywhere who are only named by moms. Saw in the National Football League, I saw it in life, I saw that with so many different people. They they live this life of sorrow like they never make it. They're always looking for an upgrade. They're not clear about who they are, they're not clear about who God has called them to be because their dad wasn't there to name them and bless them. How about you? Your own story with your dad. But look what happens here. But his father, whose name is now Israel, renames him Benjamin, which Benjamin means son of my right hand. And in a moment, a dad blessed a son named by mom, son of my sorrow, to Benjamin, son of my right hand. And the tribe of Benjamin was born. The Benjamites, they were a fierce tribe that God used in powerful ways to even bring discipline to Israel in the future. The Benjamites are still around today because of a father's words. That's how powerful a dad's blessing is with children. You see it right there. God backed up that father. First, we received that blessing for ourselves, just like Jacob did. And as we receive that ourselves, we then have that same blessing in us for the sake of our children. Powerful stuff. To the father who feels discouraged, don't be discouraged, my friend. Forgotten, don't be discouraged, don't give up. And remember that your voice over your children has great power. I mean, life-changing power to either limit or expand the horizons of your children. Your words do over your children. So I want you just to think for a moment. You know, you just we just came through Memorial Day, or maybe you were with your kids or they're far away. Think about your conversation with your children. And how much of that conversation are you blessing them and speaking life into them? How many times, maybe, maybe you've done this and you do this regularly, but you go, God, who have you called my children to be that I can bless them and bless what you're gonna do in their life? Because I'm gonna tell you, we we partner with God for the sake of our children, powerful things can happen. Or maybe you're listening tonight and you're saying, God, I need that for myself. My dad never really blessed me, and I I don't know how to be a blessing to my children because I've always been trying to name myself, rebrand myself, find a way, and I'd like to pray with you. Maybe that's your story tonight. Or you're watching this video right now, and you're you're you're wanting, you're saying, Ed, I want that blessing in my own life. Because that's, my friends, what happened to yours truly. God did something extraordinary and powerful inside of my life because I was a broken boy. My dad was killed in action on this Memorial Day weekend 69 years ago. Here's his dog tags. He took off the night before he crashed in Monterey Bay. He was a test pilot for the Navy. So I didn't have a dad to bless me and be there. And so what did I do? My mom married a some another Navy guy, and he did the best he could in my life. But I didn't have my dad. I didn't know his voice. I didn't know what he thought about me. And I was 40 years old. Kind of feel like I had my Jacob moment where God changed my name from Jacob to that true calling of who he wanted to me. And he he changed my name really from football player, where I got all of my identity or ministry to beloved son. Just like he named his son publicly when Jesus came out of that water. You are my beloved son in whom I love. I love the way the message puts it. You are my son, marked by my love, the focus of my delight. See, God the Father wants to speak that over your life if your dad never blessed you that way. And so if that's if that's what you want in your life, just open your hands. I'd love the honor of praying with you. And Father, I thank for thank you for my brothers that are here. And I thank you for guys that watch our show every week because they're coaches with other young men. Father, I pray right now that you would bless their life in what Ephesians says with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ. That you would bless them as your sons. And I say over you the same words that God the Father said over me when I was 40 years old, and failing as a dad and struggling as a husband. Ed, your name is no longer football player or pastor, but you are my beloved son too. And all the blessing that you need and all the life that you need, my friend, is yours in Christ. And God is gonna bless your life, He's gonna use your life, He's gonna make you the kind of father that you didn't maybe got to have. Maybe He's gonna use you to go to your dad and bring healing to his own story. And I ask you, Father, to come and I'll bless my friends in the name of the Father, in the name of the Son, and the Holy Spirit. And I ask you to expand them and gift them and heal their families. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen. Amen. So good to be back home with you. Been traveling quite a bit. We're gonna be doing an event in uh two weeks locally here in Southern California. If you're not part of our mailing list, please sign up. There's a number of things that uh we would love to share with you. One of which, if you want some more training and uh you want to connect in and maybe learn how to be the father that God's called you to be, or maybe learn how to be a coach for some of your friends. We got a special program called the Fatherhood Academy that uh we're in the midst of launching and rolling out, and uh, we got a special offer. You can go to our website to find out about that, and uh, we love to bless you with that. And uh and and also uh maybe you've never I've gotten my book, and Father's Day is coming, and so uh you know, you can download this book for free. We're actually in over 233 countries downloading this free, even in China after my trip to Zermont last month. So excited about what God's doing around the world with this. And uh, it's our gift to you for Father's Day. Maybe you got fathers in your church and uh you want to give them a gift this Father's Day. Well, grab this link right there, the fatherdifference.com slash free book. You can give this away, and here's a limitation. Please only give this away to a billion people. That's what I said to a number of Chinese uh workers that were there in Zermont on vacation. I said, only give it away to a billion people. That's a joke. So as far and wise you want to do, if will you help me uh make Father's Day a real blessing for dads, you can actually go get that book on our website at thefatherdifference.com. That's our website. And and we're gonna continue here, and we're gonna have we're declaring the series for June of fatherhood and reclaiming your role as a dad, restoring your family, and reflecting the father in your family, to your kids, to your neighborhood, to the little league fields, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. I'm really excited about this series that we're rolling out. I want to want you to invite every friend you know, you can help me by sharing these posts, sharing this video. If this has been a blessing, share a video and make sure you connect into the website and you can get a copy of my book, How to Become the Husband and Father Your Family Needs. That's one of the books we go through in a video series in the Fatherhood Academy. Would love for you to have that. All that the end of the commercial and uh back to, oh, I got to find out where I turn all these things on. Here we go. I'm back. And so I want to pray with you before we go. So, Father, thank you again from my friends. I think I already prayed once. I ask you to bless them and raise them up and use them as the father and men you have called them to be. In Jesus' name. Amen. Just keep hanging on. We got a little outro video about how you might say, How can I support Ed? Well, here's a little video. Thank you so much for joining in. If you're watching uh after the day, the Lord bless you as well, and may He use you, Dad, to be the father your children need and the grandpa. We're going to talk about this in June, the difference a grandpa makes. And uh an exciting time. God bless you. We'll talk to you soon. Check out this video.

SPEAKER_00:

Dear friends, imagine a world where every father feels equipped to lead with faith, love, and purpose. A world where families thrive and communities grow stronger because of devoted, Christ-centered fathers.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, beloved, that is the vision that God's put in my heart for every single family. You know, he is on the move, I believe. He promises in Malachi that before the great and coming day of the Lord, he's gonna do something profound. He's gonna turn the hearts of fathers back towards their children. So the hearts of their children will turn back to their father. That's what God is doing. I meet dads daily who want to learn to be better fathers. Yet many have never been shown how. Too many families are being fractured through bitterness and with parents and grandparents even being canceled. That's why we're launching an online community to quit and to be the fathers that God has called them to be. It's more than a program, it's a part of a movement that God is already doing to reshape fatherhood. It's a sacred calling rooted in the teachings of pride. And we're calling this the Fatherhood Academy, where men will embark on a journey of healing and spiritual restoration that helps them transform their family relationship. And to make this vision a reality, would you consider partnering with us financially as we continue to reach and disciple every man, dad, and grandpa that comes our way? Your donation will help create a ripple across the neighborhoods, communities, you know, and ultimately our nation, anchoring each child through division and the unwavering love and guidance of a devoted dad.

SPEAKER_00:

Will you partner with us? Your gift, whether a one-time donation or ongoing monthly support, will help to transform lives. Together, we can equip fathers and grandfathers to lead with faith and create a brighter, hope-filled future for generations to come. Click the link to donate today. Thank you for believing in this mission and joining us on this transformative journey.