Raising Daughters With Courage And Faith

Your daughter is asking a quiet, life-shaping question: Do you see me? We dive into the heart of fatherhood with stories that show how attention, delight, and blessing can rewrite a girl’s inner script in a world obsessed with likes and looks. From graduation stands to wedding dances and messy living rooms, we explore why a dad’s steady presence becomes the compass she carries into every relationship.

We also tackle inherited gaps. Many of us didn’t learn this growing up, and that’s okay. You can build a new language of blessing today. Learn how to affirm identity before achievement, celebrate effort over image, and set a standard she’ll carry into future choices. Plus, a preview of what’s next: crafting meaningful rites of passage and using questions that unlock deeper conversations as she grows.

If you’re a dad, stepdad, single father, or grandpa, this conversation offers practical hope, faith-filled encouragement, and tangible steps you can start tonight. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with one tradition you’ll begin this week. Your words matter more than you think—ready to answer, I see you?

p.s. Visit www.thefatherdifference.com/links for a free book download and information about personal coaching.

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Transcript

Welcome And Mission

SPEAKER_00 1:03

What kind of father do you want to be? What kind of man do you want to become for your family and for yourself? If you've ever wondered how to step into the fullness of your role as a father, husband, and man of God, then you're in the right place. Here at the Father Difference, our mission is to inspire and equip men to be the best fathers they can be. It's a powerful mission. And today, we're going to explore exactly how you can take steps toward that calling. Whether you're a father, a son, a husband, grandfather, single dad, stepfather, or just looking to grow, I believe God has something powerful for you in today's message. Whether you're tuning in live or watching this later, we are so excited to have you here. If this is what you're looking for, then subscribe so you can tune in each week to the Father Difference Live. You can sign up below. And now your host, a husband, father, grandfather, author, and former NFL player, Pastor Ed McGlass.

Tonight’s Focus: Raising Girls

Audience Q&A Invite And Humor

SPEAKER_01 2:23

We are live on Tuesday night. And uh today we're gonna talk all things girls. How to be the best father you can be, how to be the best husband you can be, and maybe the best grandpa you can be to the daughters in your life, to the women in your life, and yours truly will give you just three things, three little nuances in raising girls. So maybe you're a single dad, and you're wondering what kind of effect you can have, even if you've blown it. We're gonna talk about that as well. And so I love your questions. You can text me, which I would love right through the chat here online. I would love to find out where you're from. I would love any questions you might have. I'm here to serve you. It's a big part of my life, and what I get to do, one of the funnest things I get to do now is a 69-year-old dude. I don't quite look 69. Don't tell me in the chat. I look much older. Thank you very little. But thank you, friends. It's good to have my friends from all over the place. We're we're actually broadcasting to a lot of places, other countries, New Zealand, my peeps down there in New Zealand. Good to see you online. Too grateful for all that. And but we're gonna talk about what are those things you can do, those nuances as a father to make the biggest difference you can for your girl's sake. And there's reasons why that's so important for you to do in your life. And we're gonna talk about that, and we're gonna get right in to what we're gonna learn about today, and that is how to raise my daughter to be the woman that God has called her to be, with a little caveat as a single dad, you could, or as a father, as a dad, or a grandpa. A lot of grandpa's a day are uh raising the his granddaughters to be those kind of women, and so we're gonna talk about how to do that and what are some of the best things you can do. And to kind of start us off on this journey, I want to just ask you a question to all my friends out there. Tell me how what did your dad teach you about loving a girl? I would just love to hear from you. How good was your dad at kind of modeling how to be a good husband? Maybe your dad was a great guy, maybe your dad was wasn't there, but I would love to get some comments from you or questions from you about how good your dad was. I you kind of can speak that into the into the chat there on any social media network you are. Some of those don't come through as as quickly as YouTube does or Facebook, but I would love to hear from you about those kind of questions to your thing. I'll just I'll kind of you know share with you when I was getting ready to get married, my uh my stepdad, who I know absolutely adored me and loved me, did the best he could with the equipment that he was given, and you know, says to me in the back room as I'm getting ready to walk out and get married, just to kind of give you the context for the miracle that you're looking at. If I have anything to say at all about loving girls, you'll understand how far I came. He he says to me, you know, as as I'm walking, I said, any advice? And he said, Well, son, all I can tell you is that women are better seen and not heard. I betcha his daddy told him that. I looked at him and I said, What kind of advice is that? I'm getting ready to look at this girl in this beautiful dress coming down the aisle. We got prize mates, we got my buddies in the NFL, and my brother, and my brother-in-law and his men of honor, and what kind of advice is that? He goes, Oh, hell, son, that's you know, my women are just drama, drama, drama. I just he he gave me all the ads. I mean, what did your dads give you? I'd love to see that in the chat. I just was like, oh my goodness, that is just not uh that's just not any great advice at all. But you know, he he gave me what he had. And isn't it interesting, no matter how good or bad our dads are, that we'll start out the fathering journey the same way we were fathered, even those things that we promise that we will never do and we end up doing. And how many made that promise? I'll you know, I'll never hurt my kids the way I was hurt, and then you do the same thing. I've been there because part of it is that those kind of things are caught. It's more really caught than taught. The man that your dad was will be the kind of starting place in your own story, and you reacting to the way he was with you. If he spoke life into you, or he didn't know how to do that in your life, didn't know how to bless you, made it all about him, or wasn't there at all. Or in my case, my dad was killed in action, so I never knew him. But my stepfather stepped in and he was fathering somebody else's son, and boy, he did the best job he could, and you know, and yet on my wedding day, he did not have much to tell me. Well, it's no wonder that his marriage to my mom didn't make it very long, and which broke my heart. But he gave me, I think he gave my mom what he had, which wasn't much. She wanted so much more. And so when I got married, I really need I needed to learn to understand, and then I started having daughters, and now I'm I got three girls in my house completely intimidating me and constantly going, God, what what do women want? You know, I after Mel Gibson's movie there, I I'm like trying to figure out how to be a good father to girls, and and then I get around my buddies, and I notice that something's kind of hanging up here. Boy, I do not know why that is happening. Let's see if I can un unfreeze it. I don't know if you guys screens are frozen. Let me reload.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

It changes my two stage.

Tech Hiccups And Reset

Core Question: Do You See Me

SPEAKER_01 10:28

There we go. You got yours truly back. I'm not sure why you when we start talking about family and kids and all that kind of stuff, how come these streams get get get hit? I'm just not I do not know. I even I've even called uh uh this company asking them why is it that uh we keep getting hit here? Because our bandwidth is great, everything's great, but somehow in the midst of what we're trying to do, we run into these snags. So, anyway, we're still going, and I'm glad you're here. Good to see my buddy Jerry Burrell, who is a great baseball player, good papa, and uh living large there in Hawaii. Thanks for your thumbs up. We got Coach Justin here. I'm glad you're here. I I restarted the whole thing, and let's see if we can boom, there we go. So we're gonna get right into this because I don't know how long this is gonna keep going, but we've we'll we'll see. So, if anyway, if you're just tuning in, welcome. I'm Matt Danny McLasson, your host, and tonight we're gonna talk about how to raise my daughter to be the woman that God's called her to be. As a single dad, as a dad, as a grandpa. A lot of grandpas are raising kids today. So I'm sort of doing my whole intro all over again, but I'm gonna get right into this because I think it's such an important thing when you're learning how to minister to the heart of your girls. It's such an important thing. And so, anyway, as we're going this, I'm gonna get right to slide number one, okay? You know, I write in my different father makes a statement that I found to be so true in my own life, in the life of uh almost everybody that I coach, is that every child longs to know what does my dad really think about me? What does my dad really think about me? Such an important question. Something to do, and especially your daughters, and their daughter and your daughters have a little bit more of a nuance in that question. I remember uh just uh in the early days of when my daughter graduated from UCLA. My wife and I were there with all the fans, and here's a picture of it, and right in the middle of this, right towards the stage in the science section of uh UCLA, there, there is a blonde in the midst of all of these amazingly smart Asian kids, and it was my daughter Jessica, and she calls me on the phone and says, Daddy, do you see me? And I mean to tell you the place, you know, Jill and I just won ape, and we started jumping up and down like she had just won the Nobel Peace Prize and just celebrated my daughter, and she's dancing as she's getting ready to receive her diploma. There we are, just dancing, and boy, we we're having a similar issue here. Am I still broadcasting? Does could somebody text me and let me know? Do you see me okay? Is the video going through or is it frozen? Is it frozen? I'd like to know because we are definitely frozen in time once again. I'm gonna try to uh restart this. And so can anybody give me a comment that are we still live or not? Yes, we are live, so I'm just gonna keep going and I'm gonna trust that you're gonna get all these things. You see, I see and hear. Great. I'm clapping my hands, so I'm moving around. Is that correct? Okay, great, and so I'm gonna share with you this thing, hoping this will come through. And I have no idea why this is freezing here, but we're just gonna keep going like it's perfect. And so the fundamental thing inside of your daughters, whether they're little or they're big, is daddy, do you see me? That's so important for them. Daddy, do you see me? And so I learned this when I was raising my kids, you know, you know, because when when I heard that question, you know, as Jill and I were jumping down, there's something that every daughter wants from her dad. They they want something from their dad that helps form in the identity that God has called them to live in. Such a powerful thing, such a powerful picture. And when they understand what daddy thinks, it helps them form that identity that God has truly called them to live. And I, you know, I remember you know walking my daughters down the aisle and in that first dance. Here's me and Jessica. Yeah, there I am with a kilton. Can you imagine a guy like me with a kilton? Powerful stuff, and me dancing that first dance with my daughter Mary, uh, just slinging her around. And if you got little girls and you haven't done this yet, those dances are absolutely amazing. When you're there to just kind of honor and bless and speak life into those daughters, and and so and and yet, you know, the the nexus of me learning about daughters, because the first girl that I wanted to learn about was my wife, and then I end up having two daughters, and then I started having some granddaughters who all kind of tell me you're not the boss of me. There's just the three of my lovelies there. There's Mary and Jessica, and I have nine granddaughters now and five grandsons, and they all have the very similar thing that they're dealing with that I've learned as a grandpa. Now I can only hear the video just froze. I am so sorry. Something is going wrong. I'm gonna reboot this whole show and we're gonna come right back to this point. So if you you just pay attention to your feed, I I will make sure that that happens. I have no idea why this is happening the way it is. So just hang in there a minute. We're gonna reboot this and see what happens, okay?

Dances, Weddings, And Blessing

SPEAKER_02 17:32

Okay. Add the stage.

Learning What Women Want

The Three-Question Heart Of A Daughter

Guarding Against Pretenders

From Being Forgiven To Being Blessed

Identity Before Likes And Follows

You Are Her First Model Of A Man

Date Your Daughters: Practical Steps

SPEAKER_01 22:02

I see added to stage. I am not. This thing just went sideways on me. And now I got a Facebook error that they've got technical difficulties. Okay, boom. It's a string still coming through. Let's see, the cameras are working. I have no idea why this uh did what it did, but it did. Here we go. Oh boy. All right. Do you guys any? I'm gonna assuming, is anybody still following me out there? Oh my goodness. I just can't believe this did this today. I'm so excited about getting this show out. And uh let's see if Instagram is there. Let's look at the live show. Live video. There we go. We still haven't ended it. Okay, I'm just trying to see if okay. Looks like something is feeding down there. So are you guys with me? It's coming through. Okay, great. 522. I see it. I don't know how this works, but we're back. All right, we're gonna get right into this. I I am I am just I don't know what the heck's going on here. So anyway, we started off talking about what every child longs to get from their dad. And and and so we we talked about one of those questions inside of every daughter, Daddy, do you see me? I talked a little bit about my daughters walking them down the aisle and how powerful that was. Because those two pictures, the yours truly, God did some things inside of me that were incredibly profound, and he began to teach me how to connect with my daughter's heart, even my wife's heart, who is also a girl, which is quite amazing for an old football player like me. And so here's my granddaughters. They are, you know, pretty amazing as well, and I have nine of them. And who would have thought that I'd have that many granddaughters and five grandsons? So we we have enough for a football team, but it would be powder puff. I wouldn't have enough grandsons, but anyway, I would rather not not have to, you know, have to deal with all the injuries that yours truly had to deal with. And so reaching girls is really, really something I thought I would never learn how to do. And then something began to happen inside of me in my own relationship with a father, where he began to download into me things about a daughter's heart. And so I remember seeing this movie, What Do Women Want? How many people out there saw this movie? I mean, it was, you know, it was a crazy story about Mel Gibson, who had no clue. He was just a a bachelor, so focused on himself, and and he drops a hairdryer into a bathtub, electrocutes himself, and somehow learns how to hear what women think. I remember when that movie came out, I would even I even considered maybe that would help me. And what do women want? And so because I I didn't know, I I I didn't know they they were really confusing to me, not because they were confusing, but because I didn't I didn't have a dad who ever showed me how to unlock the heart of my daughters, how to unlock the heart of my wife, because his father never showed him how to do it. How about you? And so, you know, and so what do what do you know what do my my prayer became, and I'm kind of getting back in the flow of sharing his message after having to reboot three times, and to try to understand this whole question in my life, I say God, wouldn't, what a woman was. Oh my gosh, technology sometimes drives you crazy. And and that's just what one day I was just praying here, and I'm watching my two daughters in the the atrium. And we I kind of live in Southern California, inside of our house is glass, and there's a kind of an internal garden. And and I'm watching them trying to get my attention, and so they kept looking at me, and and every time I would smile at them and you know, give them a thumbs up, and I was kind of studying and trying to focus on what I was doing. They'd run back and change their outfits and then come back and then dance for me again, and then go back and change their outfits. And this was going on for about an hour until my wife knocks on my door and says, What are you doing? I go, What do you mean? He says, They're they're pulling all of their clothes out of their closet and trying on every outfit. And I'm looking at them, going, you know, I'm I'm saying, as we're doing this, what do they want? What do my daughters want from me as a dad? Whether you're single dad or you're a married dad, the answer to that question is really powerful. And this is what the Lord kind of downloads to me. And the way God speaks sometimes is it's I'm not saying it's an external voice to you, like the prophets of old heard. Though there are times in people I've met who have had those kind of moments, but God speaks internally and through his word first, but then you know, as we read God's word and you study the Bible in your own life, you begin to understand the language of the way God speaks to you. And you recognize him when he's prompting you. That's one of the this is one of those promptings, you know, to where I feel like he's speaking to my heart to answer my question. And this is what he says, because my question is, what are my daughters want? What do they want? And this is what he gave me. He said, when your little, when a your little girl is born, she arrives with a quiet question nestled in her heart. Daddy, do you see me? Am I beautiful? Am I worthy to be loved? And I I gotta tell you for me, man, that was enough right there. I mean, that that just that unlocked me with my wife when she's in her boudoir and she's getting ready and she's putting on her makeup, and we're going out on a date or going somewhere, and she's in there looking at one of those convex mirrors. You have you ever looked in there? It's terrifying for us as guys. Our nose hairs are this big, it's like a forest, there's monkeys sliding around in there. But my wife is looking at this mirror, it's got a light on it, too. So not only does it magnify the face, I mean, she sees every blemish and does her best to present herself. And every time she comes out of her, you know, bathroom as I'm waiting for her to go on a date or go somewhere, there's this, if if you'll you'll notice this with her, she'll she'll pause and just kind of look at you and and and and and pay attention if you're seeing her. And it's kind of like, what do you think? I mean, my wife, I don't know if your wife does this, she comes to me and she'll go, which earrings? And this is one of those times where we were late, and I wanted to get in the car to be on time, and she puts up her earrings and goes, which ones? Now, my heart on the inside of my my own conversation is the quick ones. Tell me you can't relate, guys. The quick ones, okay. And uh and instead, I said something that really grabbed my wife's heart, and it is just a total god thing. And I I looked at her and I and I know he just dropped this nugget in me. And I said, You know, babe, would you forgive me? And she goes, Well would you do? I did I am not a wealthy enough man to search the world over to find two jewels that are as beautiful as your eyes are right now. And my wife did one of these, you know, you know, when you woo her, you know, and she you see her and she looks at you. And that same thing's in your daughters. They want to know what did daddy think about me? Does daddy think I'm beautiful? Did dad think I'm lovely? And then he answers more in this line of daddy, do you see me with this question that your daughters have when they look at you, dad? Because they're looking at their boyfriends. That because if you become that first man to answer that question, the pretenders who show up won't so easily grab her heart, because they'll know from you who they really are, and they're gonna know from many of their boyfriends what they can get from them and what they want them to be given for their compliments. See, that's not what you want. See, see, when you give your your heart, dad, to answering those questions inside of your daughter, those questions where your daughters will uh will learn what a real godly man is. See, you're modeling what you want a suitor to be one day. See, I didn't get this in the beginning. I was just trying to make sure that if I took my daughters out to a movie that I didn't lose them. Which my wife and I have to navigate when we got all of our grandkids together. That if they give us six, we bring six home. Kids are running all over the place. My grandsons, you got I gotta watch them. They're they're amazingly adventurous, and they they love playing hide and seek, even in public, which is not good. But you know, as you give give your heart, and and it can even be a prayer, God, you know, turn my heart to really model to my daughter what a real godly man is supposed to be. And one of the promises that God gave me was if you'll do this and model this, that your daughters won't give their hearts away to a pretender. Which there's a lot of those out there. And and so, you know, I learned that by by cherishing her, by you know, you teach her to recognize her own worth. Because so many girls today, the their their own worth, it's determined by how many looks they get. I I have a a gal who's uh a a uh kind of famous YouTube, not youtuber, but Instagram and TikTok influencer. She's a she's a beautiful African-American gal. But and I never really saw her, but she found one of my videos where I'm I'm talking about how I blessed my daughters, and she connected with me and she said, My life would be such a shambles if I had a dad like you. So many girls out there are are wounded and hurting. Matter of fact, that that little video has gotten over 1.5 million views. And it's the heart the girls have, it's uh it's uh the heart your wife has, no matter how old she gets. She she cares about how you look at her, how you pursue her. And I began to learn that. I had no idea that that's how you win the heart of a girl. And see, when you when you do that, and you become the first man of her story who cherishes her that way, and it'll help her guard her heart against those who would offer less than what she deserves. And I mean, you can you know get a get a shotgun and be ready to chase off pretenders, and that's that's her role. But I began to learn that if I sew into my daughter, they they don't even bring those guys around because their worth on how they see themselves is so high. And that's a power, that's just powerful. And so, you know, you know, so how do I become this kind of father when I've made mistakes? Might be thinking that right now. I've made mistakes. Maybe you've blown it with your your daughter's mom, and you're no longer married, or didn't have a dad who showed you how to love a girl, and you you're you're you feel awkward around around women, around girls, because you never were shown how to. And I meet a lot of guys that way, even married and uh having problems with daughters who come home with multicolored hair and and multicolored boyfriends. And they go, What do I do? And so much of fathering is about you know, keeping the heart of your daughter and your sons, but we're talking about daughters tonight, of really keeping your heart by being a present, loving dad in her story, which is incredibly powerful. And just imagine, I mean, part of our dream in equipping men is where would the children today be where their core identity isn't about their politics, their core identity is about who God says they are. Boy, if we heal that in this next generation, they're gonna change the world. That's what God's called us to do. That's why fathers are nobody can replace a dad. Nobody can replace you. They might be distracted by social media, but let me tell you, a loving father is the most powerful light for a lost girl's heart. It's powerful stuff. See, God the Father, you know, he sent his son. So how do you get this yourself so that so that we can be forgiven, right? And and know his love and receive his blessings to be fathered by him. God's desired for you as a daughter, or if you're a son watching this tonight, or grandpa, or or dad, is you know, he wants you to receive this for yourself. But see, the one thing I've learned is I've learned this in many years of being a preacher, you know, leading a church, being in ministry, being a father, is that I can't give away things that I don't do. It doesn't work because they're not believable by my kids. I can't preach sermons to them of this great truth I discovered in the Bible, and I'd actually show them how to live that truth out. That's what's really, really powerful. You know, just you know, really powerful to your children more than you know. That's right, uh Justin says it's it's about our time with them versus fashion. You know, the the world offers fashion and glitzy and and most everything, by the way, is designed by the devil through social media to overly sexualize your daughter, to somehow make her attractive in a way that she really doesn't want people pursuing her for that. How devastating those kind of formations in the heart of your daughter can be. And yet, God sent his son so that we can be forgiven. He sent a son so that they could know his forgiveness as well, and and receive his blessing as a daughter. And I realize as a dad that one of my chief aims as a father is to help my child, my own children receive their adoption by God the Father through Christ. And one of the most amazing things about God the Father is that we don't, we were, we've been saved from his wrath because of what Christ gave. And we've also been saved to his blessing that Christ walked in. Think about that. We've been saved from his wrath for what Christ did for us on the cross. And now through forgiveness, we now have act, we have access to being blessed. We've moved from objects of wrath that deserve punishment because of our sin, to sons and daughters who God the Father wants to bless with, according to Ephesians chapter 1, every spiritual blessing in the heavenly place is in Christ. Everyone. Not just one, not just two, but every single one. And so, how do you receive that blessing in your own life? Well, you know, Jesus modeled it when he was in that river that day, and I love the message version of Mark 3.17. When he heard from God the Father, this is my son, marked by my love, the delight of my life. Imagine you modeling that dad to your daughters that you can put their name in. This is my daughter, chosen and and marked by my life. I've put my love upon them. There's nothing they can do that will get anybody, get them out of my hands. And the delight of my life. That those are powerful, powerful words, no matter how the devil tries to separate those kids from you. See, when Jeremiah was a teenager, and God the Father ends up blessing him, you know, he said, Before you were formed in the womb, I knew you, I appointed you to be a prophet unto the nations. Imagine this, which tells us that our children, just like us, are eternal beings in the heart of the father. That's why every every girl that gets pregnant, every egg that gets fertilized and becomes and begins to turn into the fully formed baby to give birth is known by the father before he said, Let there be light. There's nobody who's not been hearted in the heart of God. There's no one who is a mistake. Many kids, you know, think that they're born to parents and their story is broken because of their race, their background, the socioeconomic thing, and they get classified and they get put down, and they get used for political purposes, for votes, and never redeemed. And the truth of the matter is that, you know, there's never been a time in history, according to Jeremiah 1 5, where your daughter said, and you have not been on the mind of God. He has always loved you with the same eternity. Eternal love that's present, right? And so your your design, even before your parents' birth, you were perfectly made by God. They were perfectly made by God. Some of their questions, many times, because they compare themselves on social media, is what's wrong with me? Because their their matrix is the way they value is how many likes they get, how many friends follow them. Well, the truth of the matter is that the most important one who sees them, knows them, and blesses them is you, Dad. And you, mom, if you're watching. And so one of the things, and I talked to my daughters when when they were little, where is I learned this myself, you know, you were perfectly made, your your ethnic background, your gifts, your physical design, the year and the history you were born, all of that, all of that has been on the eternal mind of God the Father. And from the moment of your first breath, God's love's been pursuing you. Even that moment, God is never stops pursuing your children. And that that's been a powerful truth for all of my kids. But guess what? I had to get that first for me. See, affirming your daughter's eternal word to God the Father and the Son Jesus will help her discover her true identity as a woman that God loves and will bless. That's such a powerful thing. The more you affirm her word with the understanding that God has made them, it's a powerful way to communicate it to dad. Because they're wondering, what do you think about me? And when you take time and you and you just sit down and and just with a twinkle in your eye, look at him and say, Has dad told you what he loves about you today? No. And just speak it into him. And tell him the truth, the things you you really say. We're constantly you know kind of measuring, you know, you know, how our kids can protect themselves in the future by getting things right. More than they are we sew into them those amazing things they already have. And so let me tell you what this does to them. Something I've been noticing is that it will cause your children to constantly look inside of themselves, wondering why is God not blessing me? What's wrong with me, versus looking to God Himself, who gives the timing for all of our breakthroughs. And we're reminding them and we're speaking life into them and giving them tools, by the way, of going to God to learn to hear that for themselves. And when they do, they understand why it doesn't come immediately. Because the internet's full of guys, you know, purporting that they, oh, you know, they've just become a gazillionaire because they discovered this new marketing platform. And everybody can become a multimillionaire, making hundreds of thousands of dollars a day. Well, I've I I found most all those things to be lacking because I would love to have more people, but what would I do with a hundred thousand people online at the same time? First of all, it would cost me an entire year's budget of our ministry just to be on for one week. Just to pay for the time. So God gives us those things that He wants us to do in this time. So affirming her identity. See, and here's one of these those other zingers. I I promise you a couple zingers tonight. Uh, these are these are definitely point of writing years, truly, but this is the way God you know God said something to me years ago. When I and I say that again, like I caveat, it's not this audible outside of me, this voice of the Lord, like Moses talked right, but it's this moment where he just opens your mind, hey there, rig days, good to see you, my friend. And uh and so you know, it was one of those moments where he begins to, you know, reveal to me things that he loves about my daughter and loves about me. And then he gives me a truth that I can back up a scripture that just floored me, and here's one of them. And you're the first picture of the kind of man that she will choose one day to be her husband. What kind of man you want that to be? Oh my god. That was a singer. And when he said that to me, there were a number of places in my life that I knew I was holding back from God that I wanted to learn to be. How about you? We don't have to be perfect, but we gotta be an example of the kind of man we want our daughter one day to to marry, to be with. Because you're gonna have to look at him and interview him, and you're gonna have to walk your daughter down the aisle and hand her off to this guy. And I want to tell you, that's an amazing walk. If he it's the right guy. Not well, I hope he works out. I hope God does a miracle. Well, one of the ways to change that is to be that kind of guy. See, do you want to be that kind of man? Well, here's a couple things that I learned to do to change my relationship with my daughters and my wife. Okay, here's the first one date your daughters and model what a godly man does. Date your daughters, someone might say. Well, take them out on a date, as a daddy date with his daughter. This isn't about romantic love. This is about the love of a father to a daughter. It's it's modeling to them what a man will want to do one day. And number two, it gives you a space to give her a place to talk to you in a way to where there's not distraction. And she can have you one-on-one, and you're not looking at your phone, you're turning it over, and you're spending time just and you end up, you know, you you do that, it changes, it'll change that relationship with them. And and part of that is that, you know, let me tell you how I learned this. My wife comes to me one day and said, Ed, she saw that I didn't get much equipment in the NFL in dating the girls of my wife. My wife included. And she saw that I was struggling because my girls' daughters would come in, they'd be all emotional, and and I'm trying to give them scripture to toughen them up, and what's wrong with you, you know, don't be a sissy girl. Yeah. I said some stupid stuff. You ever say stupid stuff to the girls in your life? Because I didn't know. I I didn't have a model. I didn't I didn't have a stepdad who showed me, didn't show me much in that area with my mom. Matter of fact, I I don't remember him ever kissing her. I know he must have, because he produced three more children with my mom. So oh my gosh. And so, you know, my wife says this to me, what a gift. You know, if you got a wife like Jill, you are a gifted man. She said, um, Ed, if you'll pursue your daughters hard and date them like you would want a godly man to pursue your daughters one day, then they'll choose someone like you. And I'm not talking about the perfect you. But I I'm talking about you know, pursuing them. I I remember this a very com it was a comical, fun date with a great lesson. It was Valentine's Day. And and so I might have to do part two of this message next week as I actually have our live a live group starting in six minutes for Fatherhood Academy, which is a whole other group of guys that we get together every week. You might even want to join that, and I'd like to invite that to you in the future. So I promise you that I'm gonna get through this whole this section, and then we're gonna go to the next one, and I'll give you the rest in the next video next week. But my so I so anyway, Jessica and Mary wanted to go out on Valentine's Day, and so I take him to a restaurant, and I'm thinking, I'll just instead of taking them to two restaurants, because my my daughters had their special restaurant, I took them to a new restaurant, and I had to go to the restroom, and so I said, Well, why don't you guys go sit at the table? And so when I came out of the restroom, my daughters were sitting across from one another, and I knew it was a setup because whoever I sat next to would feel like the favorite, and the other one was gonna get pissed, and I'm going, God help me. I know that I know that my daughters, I I feel like this is a setup, and I don't know what to do. And he gave me a plan, and I walked over to the table, and she goes, and and and Mary goes, Okay, dad, who are you gonna sit next to? And I said, Jessica, could you please move to the other side of the table? And you know why? Because God has blessed me so much tonight that He has given me the two most beautiful girls in the in in in the whole world to sit across from me that I can make eye contact with for our whole dinner. And I shut them up, they were silent for I don't know, 30 seconds. And I think Jessica said good one, Dad. But still, this sucks because I don't want to share you as my Valentine's Day because I don't have a boyfriend yet. So you have to do a makeup date. So I had to take them out on the other night individually. But I want to tell you what, it was an amazing thing for me to understand that one of the first things you can do, and we're gonna have to tie this off here because I got three minutes left. I want to pray. And we're gonna come back next week. We're gonna finish this uh hopefully with the technology all in tow. We had a big problem as it started tonight. I want to give you more, so I'm kind of leaving you a little hungry. You do not want to miss the rest of this, and so I I'm gonna share what I shared this week and the rest next week in a makeup uh video. And and for all the guys on that are going to Fatherhood Academy tonight, we'll see you there in about three and a half minutes, two and a half minutes. And so when you pursue your daughters and you date them, it will change. Oh, someone says, Oh, come on, give me a little hint, a little hint, I'll give you a little hint. And so, you know, I'm gonna talk next week about how to bless your daughters with the rites of passage, how to help transition your daughter from a little girl to a woman at the appropriate age to help her. And um, and I'm also gonna talk to you about how to really use questions to guide the heart of your daughter into breakthroughs that maybe she's not had before. And then I got one more secret one. I'm not gonna tell you, you want to show up next week. But anyway, I want to pray for you right now. If you're a single dad or a dad with a problem with a daughter, we got about a minute and a half. And if that's your story and that's what's going on, I father, I ask you right now in the name of Jesus to bless my brothers. And Father, I pray you would remind them, number one, that there's no dad, there's no stepdad to replace who they can be. And if they're even stepfathers, I pray that you would make them the best step stepdads they can possibly be to these kids, and you would reunite the heart of their children with them in the name of Jesus and give them a new beginning. I thank you for my friends who showed up, Lord. I ask you to to bless tonight this recording. I pray they would share it, they would share with their friends, and we'll try to cut out the middle of this on YouTube that we had technical difficulties. But Lord, I I pray you would bless my friends. I'm I'm so grateful for them. Um I ask you to bless their families, and I ask you to to speak to them through what we talked about tonight in the name of Jesus. Amen. Thank you for coming. I am really grateful for that. I gotta jump to another uh group, a men's group tonight, and I wish I could just grab all of you and take you with me. But that can happen if you consider joining our Fatherhood Academy. We're getting ready to relaunch it with a new special, so stay tuned for that. And I'm really grateful to be with you and can't wait to be with you next week. Remember, it's too never too late for God to do an amazing thing in your life. Well, check out this closing video, and here's yours truly stying off, and I'll see you next week. God bless you.

SPEAKER_00 59:48

Dear friends, imagine a world where every father feels equipped to lead with faith, love, and purpose. A world where families thrive and communities grow stronger because of devoted, Christ-centered fathers.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:03

You know, beloved, that is the vision that God put in my heart for every single family. You know, he is on the move, I believe. He promises in Malachi that before the great coming day of the Lord, he's gonna do something profound. He's gonna turn the heart of fathers back towards their children. So the hearts of their children will turn back to their fathers. I mean, Daniel Bay.